MLB Gets Step Closer To HGH Test

Until they invent new drugs (and maybe this has already happened; how would we know?) MLB's last remaining performance-enhancing bugaboo is human growth hormone. People seem convinced not only that professional baseball players are seeking out HGH by the dozens, but that the drug itself actually has any marginal effect on performance. The first is probably wrong, the second most definitely so.

Anyway, pretty soon it won't even be an issue, thanks to the miracle of stem cell research. Just kidding! No stem cells were harmed in the making of this drug test:

The man described as the "guru of sports doping" and an East Coast cancer detection expert said they're on the way to establishing a urine test for human growth hormone that could close a drug-testing loophole experts described Monday as a "widespread" problem in sports. Baseball officials who weren't allowed to discuss the situation publicly told The Times the Catlin-Liotta partnership now is poised to be "at the front of the line" when the Partnership for Clean Competition -- consisting of MLB, NFL and the U.S. Olympic Committee -- begins to distribute funds from a pool of $10 million later this year.

In other words, Major League Baseball is shelling out its cash to finish a test for a drug that doesn't really work that players might not even want in the first place. Why? To save face. And it's not a lot of cash; even if they footed the whole bill, $10 million is still only two-thirds of Bud Selig's yearly salary. What does Bud Selig actually do to earn that money? He makes difficult decisions during rainstorms. Tough gig, that guy.