**OnlineHost** Welcome to Yankees Chat!

ILoveCashMan: /walks in with grocery bags

Guys, I'm home!

long_live_giambi: Did you pick up my Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

ILoveCashMan: Yep! /tosses over bag

long_live_giambi: hey

HEY WHAT IS THIS

long_live_giambi: WHY IS THIS IN A BAG

WHAT IN THE F*** ARE "CINNAMON WAFER CRISPS"

ILoveCashMan: I got it off the bottom shelf of the cereal aisle. It's cheaper, and it's basically the same thing!

long_live_giambi: NO IT ISN'T AT ALL

have you ever eaten this s***?

long_live_giambi: you have to scrape the caked lining of sugar off the roof of your mouth with a chisel

long_live_giambi: AND WHERE ARE THE THREE BAKER GUYS ON THE BOX

WHO IS THIS, A RABBIT WITH A GOD DAMN CAPTAIN'S HAT

long_live_giambi: WHERE IS THE FREE TOY, WHAT, IS THIS MAZE ON THE BACK OF THE BAG SUPPOSED TO BE A TOY

MOTHERF***

ILoveCashMan: Look, we didn't pick up your option. You want to hang around like an unwanted child, I'm going to feed you like an unwanted child.

GirardiAndCola: Hey, I don't suppose you happened to pick up Teixeira in free agency?

ILoveCashMan: Why, yes I did. Come in here, Tex!

Tex_Mex: /shuffles in

hullo

GirardiAndCola: who is this

Tex_Mex: i'm kanekoa texeira

GirardiAndCola: oh come on

ILoveCashMan: No, no, he's great!

GirardiAndCola: What the hell is going on? What's with the off-brand stuff? Are we going poor or something?

ILoveCashMan: Joe, you know how the economy is these days.

GirardiAndCola: But we're the Yankees. We have more money than Jesus and God put together. Where did it all go?

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Steinbrenner Home Chat!

HanksForNothing: /strips naked

HanksForNothing: /climbs steps

HanksForNothing: /walks to edge of diving board

HanksForNothing: /dons breathing mask

HanksForNothing: /belly-flops into enormous gold-studded silo filled with melted butter and chunks of brie cheese

HanksForNothing: ahhhhhhhhhhhh

HanksForNothing: /allows body to go limp as he slowly sinks to bottom