Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency

With a nod to the classic "Choose Your Own Adventure" series, MLB FanHouse dares to delve into the mysterious and potentially frightening mind of Manny Ramirez as he and agent Scott Boras look for a new contract. Of course, with those two, nothing is ever as easy as it seems, so choose wisely. Ramirez's fate, and potentially the world's, is in your hands.

____________________

BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!

"What? No! No! I don wan play spies!" you mutter to yourself. It's 2 PM. Why is your alarm clock going off already?

BLEEP! BLEEP! BLEEP!

Oh. Right. It's your phone. Boras made you change your voicemail alert from "Relax" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood three weeks ago. You dial in to your voicemail.

"Manny. It's Scott. It's time to choose. The Dodgers have actually offered you a trillion dollars, and the Yankees are planning on bidding up. You must choose a new team before these morons realize that they don't have this much money."

Sigh.

You aren't sure about this. You've had a great career, but people just don't understand you. Sometimes it's just too much. Maybe you shouldn't hit free agency at all. Maybe it's time to walk the earth. You know -- walk the earth, meet people, get into adventures. Just like Caine in Kung Fu.

What are you going to do?

I want to keep playing baseball. It's time for free agency.

... or ...

I've had enough. It's time for me to move on.

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 23)

11-17-2008 @ 3:34PM

jammer said...

you are already making how many millions? or do you know?, stop your damn whining and play ball, or take your toys and the the *&#@ home, you are a dumass

11-18-2008 @ 8:13AM

bob said...

hey you dont need to swear on the internet there's kids reading these things and your being a bad influence so if your that obssessed with baseball...you should be on espn.

11-18-2008 @ 8:38AM

i like to see manny in chicago, get rid of fukudome

11-18-2008 @ 8:45AM

CMB said...

Send him to the BRAVES and Bobby Cox will straiten him out....

11-18-2008 @ 9:06AM

Frank said...

your right on

11-18-2008 @ 9:42AM

This is Ray said...

Actually, you are the dumbass for not knowing how to spell. Now go get your shoes on because it's time for you to get ready for school sucka!

11-18-2008 @ 10:58AM

Deb said...

Dumbass has a B in it

11-17-2008 @ 3:43PM

Ed said...

Hey manny it time to move into the yankee field..There nothing that would piss off the Red sox than that.You go man.

11-17-2008 @ 3:53PM

CINDYfreeblown said...

STAY WITH THE DODGERS!!! He's like the best thing that has happened to the dodgers no bs!!plus he's super sexy hahha

11-17-2008 @ 4:07PM

jerry mcdonald said...

mexico

11-17-2008 @ 4:18PM

Don said...

Japan

11-18-2008 @ 10:22AM

Debi said...

Bingo! Japan is the place for him and his dreds. The further away the better. He doesn't appreciaiate anything here. Let him learn some humility.

11-17-2008 @ 4:21PM

manny rameriz said...

come play for the Yankeeeeeeeeeeeesssssss and just DH and sit like a good little boy in the bench and no whiningggggggg

11-17-2008 @ 4:25PM

Roy said...

Manny and his agent should be banned from baseball for what he did in Boston

11-17-2008 @ 4:33PM

carlos suarez said...

i think that he should go back to boston ,they really miss him there , if you don't believeme listen to weei.com

11-17-2008 @ 4:42PM

erin said...

first off, the whole manny being manny thing is ridiculous. its manny thinking he carries whatever team he plays for. hes one of the laziest players ive ever seen. ya, he can hit a few home-runs but really, no one NEEDS you. im a die hard sox fan and i was so happy to see you leave.

11-18-2008 @ 8:14AM

Robin said...

BRAVO, Erin!!!! I'm also a dyed in the wool Red Sox Fan and I "prayed" for the lazy SOB to go elsewhere.

11-18-2008 @ 8:47AM

Joe said...

Manny's one of the best players in the league right now! Granted he may also be one of the dumbest as well, but any team would be happy to have an athlete of his caliber! I'm saying this and im far from a Sox or Dodgers fan. Well maybe the Dodgers when they played in Brooklyn!