Manny Being Choosey: The Escape From Awful Los Angeles

So, you decide to get yourself traded.

But you know that mere sulking and alienating your teammates isn't enough. You need to take drastic measures to get yourself out of L.A. But it's got to be a plan so devious that nobody -- and I mean nobody -- will want to keep you around. But what act that will ultimately do it?

After talking with friends, confidants, and the various voices in your head, you nail it down to two choices. Which will get you out of L.A.? Will either do it? The choice could mean the difference between true happiness and misery. Choose wisely.

Ride Ned Colletti's boxers up the flagpole before a game

... or ...

Kidnap Kobe Bryant before Game 7 of the NBA Finals

(Not sure how you got here? Start Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency from the beginning.)