Manny Being Choosey: You Enter Politics

You decide that you want to help children and better the world in these trying times filled with economic strife, global warming, and too many bowl games. So you decide to serve the public interest and run for office.

You invent a new party and are now a "Mannycan," because mere parties do not define you. And you do some good things. While holding various offices in Southern California, you solve the traffic problem, eliminate smog, and rally Californians on a platform of "In-n-Out Burgers for everyone, not just the rich."

You've taken your success all the way to the Governor's office, where you defeat Arnold Schwarzenegger in one of California's closest elections in history.

You do such a good job as Governor of California that, in August of 2012, you get the call: Sarah Palin is running for President and she wants you, Manny Ramirez, to be her running mate. After thinking about it, you figure: "What better place to help people than as the Vice President of the United States?"

But the media is brutal during the campaign, especially when Anderson Cooper uncovers your secret past playing spies with Jonathan Papelbon.

The Palin/Ramirez ticket is trounced by the Barack Obama re-election bid. You're distraught.

"I just wanted to help people," you think to yourself. "I never meant to cause any harm to no one. You know, I could have made a lot of money playing baseball these last four years."

In the spring of 2013, at the age of 40, you latch on with the Independent League's Long Island Ducks, where you finish your baseball career in the shadows of strip malls.

THE END.

(Not sure how you got here? Start Choose Your Own Adventure: Manny Being Choosey in Free Agency from the beginning.)