When I was a kid, I collected baseball cards. I loved reading the stats, seeing the pictures, keeping binders full of them -- everything about them, really. I still remember winning a pack of "gold cards" from a scratch-off and waiting impatiently for six weeks for the cards to come in the mail (it was a lot like Calvin waiting for his propeller beanie). It's probably those fond memories of mine that have me scratching my head when I read about card collecting today.
I should probably be careful when I scratch my head, though, because if I accidentally scratch some hair off, there's a chance that Upper Deck will collect a sample of my hair and raffle it away in a pack of baseball cards, should I happen to become famous enough.
Yeah, that's not a typo, and that link goes to the Wall Street Journal, not The Onion. Upper Deck is giving away packs of baseball cards with chances to win a strand of hair from historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, while Topps is giving away "DNA cards" that contain the hair of George Washington and Charles Dickens.
Who, exactly, are they selling these cards to? I know that the internet and video games have killed card collecting and, honestly, if I was born in 1995 instead of 1985, I probably would have never collected cards myself. But where is the connection between baseball card collectors and dead celebrity hair enthusiasts? Frankly, winning a piece of Abaham Lincoln's hair is creepy. And with no real way to prove the hair is his, how much is it worth?
Rather than coming up with ways to revive their flagging industry, it seems like these companies are just throwing whatever they can find in a pack of cards and hoping they accidentally strike gold. I may only be a blogger, but that seems like a poor business model.
Did You See That?
The field clears a fence during the New Season Handicap Steeplechase during the at Ludlow Racecourse on September 16, 2008 in Ludlow, England.
Emanuele Canonica of Italy helps his caddie in the rescue of a pigeon from the water around the 18th green during the first round of the Portugal Masters at the Oceanico Victoria Golf Course on October 16, 2008 in Vilamoura, Portugal.
A multiexposure image showing Britain's Andy Murray returning to Croatian Marin Cilic during a last sixteen tennis match at the Madrid Masters in Madrid on October 16, 2008. Andy Murray won 7-5, 7-6.
English football fans dressed in armours and tunics play in a friendly match against Belarus fans in Minsk on October 15, 2008 before the start of the Belarus vs. England 2010 FIFA World Cup qualifier of European group 6 match.
Travis Brigley (R) of Hamburg fights with Matt Keith (L) of Ingolstadt during the DEL match between Hamburg Freezers and ERC Ingolstadt at the Color Line Arena on October 14, 2008 in Hamburg, Germany.
Russian Nikolay Davydenko returns a ball to US Robby Ginepri during a second round tennis match at the Masters in Madrid on October 15, 2008.
A golf ball which has been enveloped by the tree over many years is pictured during the pro-am for the Portugal Masters at the Oceanico Victoria Golf Course on October 15, 2008 in Vilamoura, Portugal.
Andy Murray of Great Britain plays football during his training session prior to his thrid round match tomorrow at the Madrid Masters tennis tournament at the Madrid Arena on October 15, 2008 in Madrid, Spain.
Samuel Peter from Nigeria gets a punch from Vitali Klitschko of Ukraine during their WBC heavyweight boxing world championship fight in Berlin, Germany, Saturday, Oct. 11, 2008. Klitschko won the fight after round nine due to technical knock out.
Herbert Knosowski, AP
Japan's Kyoko Hamaguchi (lower) fights with China's Hong Yan (red) during the semi-final of the 72kg class of the Women's Wrestling World Championships in Tokyo on October 13, 2008. Hong defeated Hamaguchi and will face Bulgaria's Stanka Zlateva in the final.
Yoshikazu Tsuno, AFP/Getty Images
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-19-2008 @ 9:04AM
Mr. Miyagi said...
Wow. Maybe if the prize was pubic hair from Pam Anderson or Angelina Jolie, I might be tempted to buy a pack. What a crazy, sick promo. Can't wait to see what the come up with next.
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11-19-2008 @ 1:19PM
Bob Fredericks said...
I can think of a few people whose hair I might be tempted to clone!
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11-19-2008 @ 3:32PM
LEE said...
That is friggin GROSS!!!!! you will have all the Dr. Frankensteins out there, trying to clone these people with the DNA given!! What's next a vile of blood of th celebrities to make a buck???? Greedy stupid Bastards!!!! WHo gives a shit about these Friggin Celebs!!! They are the worse liberals in society!!!! The creators of Sodom & Gommorah!
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11-19-2008 @ 4:54PM
Richard said...
Actually, a piece of Babe Ruth's hair (with his autograph) recently sold on ebay for $15,000 and a piece of hair from a woolly mammoth sold for $3,000. I guess somebody is willing to pay an arm and a leg for that crap.
Personally, I think it's pretty stupid.
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11-19-2008 @ 9:07PM
stratohog said...
I'd love to have some of Pam Anderson's pubes from when she was young,fresh and before all of those dirtbags got to her.I'd gladly return the favor by sending her a sample of my own,which she could savor,stir into her morning coffee and make her grin from ear to ear!! I love you Pam!!
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11-19-2008 @ 9:53PM
Steve Salinas said...
The author doesn't know what he's talking about. The card industry is THRIVING and he would do some research he would realize it! With what the card companies are doing with the cards, not only hair, he would realize they're a better investment than stocks. nothing like spending a few bucks on a pack and pulling one worth hundreds!! Check my website for confirmation if you don't believe me, www.whosonsecond.com. Learn what you don't know!!
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11-20-2008 @ 12:34AM
dunkman said...
The baseball card business is dead. Over. Done. I handled PR for the industry for 9 years in the 1990s and saw the decline first hand while running the National for 7 years doing PR. Now 3 stooges run the National and they are chasing fool's gold. So don't believe anything you read about the card business or the hobby industry being healthy. Only the bodies remain to be buried......
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11-20-2008 @ 10:43AM
cass said...
My boyfriend pulled a piece of Brad Pitt's shirt out of a box of cards he bought and also a George Lucas autograph which sold for $1200.00. I would have to agree that the industry is thriving. I myself enjoy opening packs and it's a pretty good feeling when you get something good out of it like a piece of jersey or bat, especially an autograph which are usually worth more.
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11-20-2008 @ 9:25PM
Dillon S. said...
As a teenage collector myself, I think it would be pretty cool to have a card with a strand of G.W.'s hair. I was a big fan of the Declaration of Independence series that Topps had two years ago. Maybe this was just the next logical step.
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11-20-2008 @ 9:38PM
jhuch said...
The author said flagging, the card industry went south like the stock market about 5 years ago. Why open packs when you can buy all the pubes you want on eBay?
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11-20-2008 @ 9:41PM
CRANKIT1X said...
I DONT KNOW ABOUT ANYONES PUBES. HOWEVER I DO KNOW THIS. I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 19 MONTH OLD SON AND I AM VERY SAD TO SAY I WILL NEVER ENCOURAGE THE IDEA OF COLLECTING TRADING TO HIM. WHEN AT ONE TIME IN MY LIFE I COULD THINK HOW IT WOULD BE COLLECTING CARDS WITH MY SON. THIS HOBBY HAS BECOME A JOKE. LETS NOT GET STARTED WITH WHATS IT WORTH QUESTIONS. BECKETT SAYS CARD IS WORTH $ 100 OH I KNOW THAT MEANS GO TO EBAY AND GET IT FOR 10 FREAKIN CENTS.
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11-20-2008 @ 10:16PM
Scott said...
Allen and Ginter cards are fun to open, you never know what you might get.
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11-21-2008 @ 5:21PM
Roy said...
I do not see how any one could prove whose hair is on a card let alone find collectable value in it. "Ok you on the assembly line pluck a hair for the cause". Autograph of Grorge Washington or a piece of a letter he wrote maybe, but his hair? what next finger nail clippings?
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11-23-2008 @ 11:33PM
Trey said...
I started collecting in the late 80's (through the early 90's); right when the market started to plummet due to over-production. I have sooooo many cards that are virtually worthless; even the star's RCs are only worth a few bucks. I took quite a few years off and came back to card collecting around 2002 or so. To my surprise the game had changed dramatically. The days of 50 cent packs with gum in them were over. Now the cheap packs were at least a few bucks and some packs were 10's of dollars (or MUCH more). I found that many of the sets and cards were numbered and severly limited...actually making them worth quite a bit. Collecting was no longer for kids; a kid who wasn't selling crack on the side wasn't going to be able to keep up with the rising prices of collecting. I dumped quite a bit of money into my recent collecting, but when I went back and looked at what I purchased, I was pleasantly surprised...the worth of some of my items were through the roof. Going through my cards recently, I found many items worth a hundred dollars or more. So many of these "gimic" cards are worth and arm and a leg, and there are collectors out there willing to pay top dollar for them. George Washington hair may sound gross, but when you randomly pull the card and can sell it to purchase a car...you won't find the industry silly or dead at all. I have gained much more money from my card collection in recent history than I have in my stock portfolio. For those that say the industry is dead...they are mistaken. There is A LOT of money in this industry, but it takes a lot of money to tap into the real treasures...unless you are just extremely lucky...lucky enough to pull some celebrity hair.
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11-25-2008 @ 7:50PM
David said...
the Blogger obviously has no clue. mention the fact that you also get a beautiful authenticated autograph on some of the cards. Who wouldn't want a Lincoln or Washington autograph from a pack of cards? Cards are historical items much like Art. There is phases and ups and downs just like anything collectable. STocks go up and down and so do cards based on a lot of factors. Too see some of the autographs click on the link and type in cuts auto and you will see many very rare historical autographs. Cards such as Mickey Mantle, Babe Ruth and Presidents.
http://stores.ebay.com/Davids-Cards_W0QQsspagenameZMEQ3aFQ3aSTQQtZkm
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