Lenny Dykstra Is Still a Gentleman

For a self-proclaimed investment whiz, Lenny Dykstra sure seems to find himself in trouble because of money pretty often. The former Met and Phillie was in a Manhattan court yesterday to deal with accusations that he didn't pay a $139,000 bill from his accountants. The two sides settled inside a courtroom, which just left more time for Dykstra, who has switched from tobacco to Twizzlers, to regale reporters with his wit and wisdom.

NBC Philadelphia compiled a heady list of his remarks, which began when he compared the firm's bargaining strategy to that of a former Phillie teammate. DDK & Co. "folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth," according to Dykstra, who the New York Post describes as a "paunchy fireplug."

He addressed another lawsuit, this one for bouncing a $7,000 check to a private jet concern. "That's my f- - -in' ashtray money, bro." Or his suit money. "See that purple label, bro? That's seven large," Dykstra said as he showed off the lining of his jacket.

Still, Dykstra's problems don't appear to be ending soon. His first legal team from the accountant case resigned after accusing him of not paying his legal bills and his Player's Club magazine/investment advisory for professional athletes never really got off the ground. Perhaps because he was charging usurious rates for his investment advice?

Don't worry about ol' Nails though. He's pitching a video game idea to Curt Schilling which, if nothing else, will be the talkiest game ever made.