Bad news for the Blue Jays. The Canadian dollar is still somehow weaker than the American dollar. Team CEO Paul Beeston says that since his native currency holds about as much relevance as Aboriginal wheel money, they won't be spending much this offseason, even if they don't re-sign pitcher A.J. Burnett.Beeston and manager Cito Gaston attempt to make sense of our awesome and jealous global economy in tonight's Dugout, after the jump.
The Dugout
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Blue Jays Chat! |
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BeestonShow: The fact is, our current economic state is not going to allow us to spend as much as we'd like. |
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BeestonShow: We're the only Canadian team, and the Canadian dollar is worth less than the American dollar. |
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CitgoGastation: I've noticed. Yesterday I went to the bank to withdraw some cash and they gave me some little plastic tokens. "Canuck Bucks," they called them. |
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BeestonShow: yeah, each Canuck Buck is redeemable at Aladdin's Castle for one of those little plastic spider rings |
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CitgoGastation: How did this happen? I figured Canada's dollar would be stronger. We don't even have hurricanes or anything to have to deal with. |
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BeestonShow: What do you know about hurricanes? |
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CitgoGastation: well I was born in Texas and my parents named me after a "CITGO GAS STATION" sign after half the letters were blown off |
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BeestonShow: The global economy is an impossibly sophisticated puzzle. We can only accept it and run the team as best we can. |
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BeestonShow: Unfortunately, the exchange rate is also applicable toward trades. |
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CitgoGastation: Help me picture this. What would we get for Roy Halladay? |
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BeestonShow: Nate Robertson. |
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CitgoGastation: ugh well, how about Vernon Wells? |
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BeestonShow: Juan Pierre |
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CitgoGastation: Marco Scutaro? |
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BeestonShow: a handful of table salt |
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CitgoGastation: David Eckstein? |
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BeestonShow: an armless midgit who, when provoked, will head-butt you in the penis |
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CitgoGastation: Jeremy Accardo? |
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BeestonShow: the exhumed skeleton of Bill Childers |
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CitgoGastation: hahaha someone actually wasted money on sponsoring bill childers' baseball-reference page |
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BeestonShow: We've got to be frugal in these times, Cito. |
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CitgoGastation: so I guess this means I have to keep wearing this Blue Jays hat from 1992 |
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BeestonShow: Unfortunately. |
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CitgoGastation: aw come on, this thing still reeks of Dave Stieb |
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BeestonShow: Speaking of which! We just acquired Dave Stieb from a Siberian gulag. |
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CitgoGastation: WHAT DAVE STIEB IS LIKE 140 YEARS OLD |
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DabeSteve: hi you guys does anyone happen to have an extra button for my shirt |
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BeestonShow: good luck with that, shirt buttons are now the global reserve currency |
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DabeSteve: fiddlesticks |
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DabeSteve: welp, time for dinner |
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DabeSteve: /juts out lower lip, feasts on fleas and dust mites that live in moustache |
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CitgoGastation: you are disgusting, Dave Stieb |
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DabeSteve: mmf mmf mmmmmmf |
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
JB . . . you are cruel, cruel man for sponsoring that page.
Aladdin's Castle plastic spider rings! Dave Stieb mustache mites! Bill Childers! CIT_O GAS_T___ON! Man, this ruled.
Moonlight Graham ain't got sh*t on me.
Hahaha
ERA= INF.
Um, I don't think they'll even get an armless midget out of Eckstein seeing as how they already traded him to Arizona last season.
Whoops, you're right. All I know about David Eckstein is that he is a seven-tool legend and a surefire Hall of Famer.
/headbutt