FanHouse Exclusive*: Rickey Henderson's Acceptance Speech

Hello everybody, Rickey's name is Rickey Henderson and Rickey wants you all to know how honored Rickey is to be here today. As Rickey stands before you in front of the Baseball Hall of Fame, Rickey can't help but get a sense of all the greatness and history surrounding Rickey.

That being said, Rickey did not come here today to talk about Rickey. Rickey isn't here to tell you all about how Rickey is the all-time leader in stolen bases with 1,406, or how Rickey also redefined the leadoff position. Did you know that Rickey's 81 career leadoff home runs are more than any other leadoff hitter in history? They are, but Rickey isn't here to tell you he was elected to 10 All-Star teams, or that Rickey hit 297 homers, drove in 1,115 runs, drew 2,190 walks, or scored 2,295 runs. Rickey's also not here to tell you how he set the single season mark with 130 stolen bases back in 1982. Rickey knows that you know that already, or else you wouldn't have put Rickey here right now.

No, Rickey is here to apologize to all of those who did not make the Hall of Fame with Rickey this year. Rickey is sorry that Rickey's name and legacy outshined you on all of those ballots. Rickey is especially sorry that Rickey's friend and contemporary Tim Raines only got 22.6 percent of the votes. Rickey knows you're better than that, Tim, it's just you're not Rickey is all.

Oh, and as for those 28 voters who did not write Rickey's name down on their ballots, Rickey wants you to know that Rickey forgives you. Rickey knows that even Rickey can sometimes make mistakes, and Rickey is sure you only omitted his name because you wanted to help out the players that weren't as good as Rickey is get a chance to join Rickey on this stage.

Thank you, and Rickey bless you.

*And by Exclusive in this case, we mean satire. Though, to be honest, if you hadn't figured that out already, then not even Rickey can help you.