theGLAVINATOR: hahaha, man, did you really call that guy a

RockYourMother: Yeah. I called him a s***verbing f***noun.

theGLAVINATOR: I heard you also called him a c***gerund.

RockYourMother: /shrugs obscenely

theGLAVINATOR: And all that's well and good, but then you always go and make with the hate speech. Not cool. That's what gets you into trouble.

RockYourMother: no, what gets me into trouble is the guys who are always listening to what i say and writing it down and imparting what i have said to other people

theGLAVINATOR: Journalists?

RockYourMother: yeah

damn fontf***ers

RockYourMother: And you know, I'm not even a bigot. I just

well actually I probably am a bigot

RockYourMother: But when I derisively call someone a "Jew," it's because I've run out of cuss words and it's just something to say.

theGLAVINATOR: Here's an idea, then.

Just make up a race of people, and when you get the itch to slander a race of people, slander the make-believe race instead.

RockYourMother: huh

theGLAVINATOR: Come on, it's fun. I'll get you started.

theGLAVINATOR: Let's say there's this nation somewhere. It's populated by people with funny accents and green skin..

theGLAVINATOR: Now, let's make up some offensive, racist stereotypes for these people.

RockYourMother: hmm

they're characteristically slightly shorter than average

theGLAVINATOR: They usually grow up to become TV repairmen.

RockYourMother: their deity is a glass of milk

theGLAVINATOR: They're really bad at math; like, if you went up to one of them and asked them what 5 + 53 + 4 was, they just wouldn't know it or be able to figure it out

RockYourMother: they live in a place that rains a lot, perhaps more than one would expect

theGLAVINATOR: they put either too much or too little mustard on their sandwiches, but never the right amount

RockYourMother: they do their taxes in movie theaters

theGLAVINATOR: all of their music is played with a bullhorn and a set of wind chimes

RockYourMother: their traditional garb consists of ill-fitting sweatpants and a shirt with a large hole cut out of the middle of it for some reason

theGLAVINATOR: their national pastime is some obscure, difficult-to-understand sport that involves a unicycle, pruning shears, and a wooden block

RockYourMother: every tuesday is declared a "sacred day" and everyone is forbidden from thinking about wolves on this day

theGLAVINATOR: their staple foods are ketchup and lemons and their traditional cuisine consists of only these two ingredients

RockYourMother: their written language looks incredibly weird, so weird that you think that they might be homosexuals

theGLAVINATOR: in banned racist bugs bunny cartoons from the 1950s, they're always depicted wearing reading glasses, staring at the ground, and screaming

RockYourMother: Man, this is great!

I can finally be racist, and nobody can be angry with me!

theGLAVINATOR: Let me know how it goes! God speed!

**OnlineHost** The next day...

theGLAVINATOR: How did it go?

RockYourMother: pretty badly

as it turns out i was slandering people from south dakota pretty accurately

theGLAVINATOR: bunch of damn nondescript-f***ers