The Dugout: Oakland Athletics, 2009 Division Champions

The handsome time travelers over at Baseball Prospectus have released their projected standings for the 2009 season.

According to said projections, the Oakland Athletics will win the AL West with an 82-80 record and go into the record books as the losingest team to win a division in the history of the American League. The Texas Rangers, Seattle Mariners, and West Coast Alphabets don't stand a chance.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	OnlineHost Welcome to Oakland Athletics Chat!
	MyMorningJackCust: Hey, anyone know when we're supposed to report to camp?
	LongLiveGiambi: I know pitchers and catchers are showing up on Saturday.
	EvelandSteamer: /packs tent, pocket knife, ingredients with which to make smores
	SuzukiMethod: /prepares self mentally for unconstitutional forced internment
	MyMorningJackCust: I can't wait for Spring Training! I can't wait to be photographed laughing at other players' jokes while doing groin stretches!
	LongLiveGiambi: lol suckers We've already been projected to win the division, what's the point?
	EvelandSteamer: wait, we're winning the division
	LongLiveGiambi: Yep! Between now and Opening Day I plan on lying in bed and getting up once every nine minutes to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock.
	MyMorningJackCust: B...but what about the groin stretches? What about all the joking around while doing groin stretches? What about all the being photographed while joking around and doing groin stretches?
	EvelandSteamer: Yeah, I had a lot of great jokes saved up! "Boy, I feel out of shape! These sideways pushups sure are difficult!"
	MyMorningJackCust: That's deserving of a Gigglin' Giambi Groin Thrust if I've ever heard it! lol
	EvelandSteamer: "It is my opinion that the weather is hot outside!"
	MyMorningJackCust: oh go on
	EvelandSteamer: "Recently I made the have-sex with your sister!"
	MyMorningJackCust: "say no more! say no more!"
	LongLiveGiambi: All right, you sold me. Let me try. The Oakland Athletics.
	MyMorningJackCust: ...
	EvelandSteamer: ...
	LongLiveGiambi: Uh, I mean Bobby Crosby looks like the offspring of Steve-O and an anteater!
	MyMorningJackCust: You win! Giggle and thrust, giggle and thrust!
	CrosbysStillAnAss: :(
	LongLiveGiambi: I'm sure glad I missed that episode of Wildboyz!
	LongLiveGiambi: but anyway, yeah, we're going to be the worst playoff team of all time and will lose a best-of-five series in two games and a paper-rock-scissors match
	LongLiveGiambi: /fills thermos with protein shake, crawls back into bed