**OnlineHost** Welcome to Los Angeles Dodgers Front Office Chat!

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: /lugs screen name up stairs

huff huff hufffffff

CollettiSoul: You could have just used the elevator.

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: nah, the warning sign posted says I exceed the maximum allowable suck limit

CollettiSoul: There's a suck limit?

Oh my God, I sent Juan Pierre up here! I hope he didn't take the elevator!

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Elevator Chat!

Pierrepants: /attempts to press elevator button

/finger floats through button panel, as though a ghost

Pierrepants: curse my intangible nature!!!

**OnlineHost** Welcome back to Front Office Chat!

CollettiSoul: Oh well, he'll be fine.

corpses can still ground into double plays, right

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: Speaking of suck, though, I came here to apologize. You paid me a lot of money last year and I was pretty much the worst player of all time.

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: I should have lived up to my contract. I really am sorry.

CollettiSoul: I'm still astounded. How did you manage to change from 1981 Dave Kingman into 1982 Dave Kingman within a single year?

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: Well, to be honest, I wasn't even present for like 50 of my 76 strikeouts last year. The Salvation Army sent me to the Gulf region to assist in relief efforts.

CollettiSoul: That was nice of you. What did you do down there?

Andraeiouandsometimesyw: i was a sandbag

CollettiSoul: Haha, that's funny, because they used to call you Hurricane Andruw, and now you

Andraeiouandsometimesyw:

CollettiSoul: ...

Andraeiouandsometimesyw:

CollettiSoul: OH F*** YOU ANDRUW JONES

CollettiSoul: /hurls sandbag out of window

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Field Level Chat!

MannyBoutTown: /moonwalks across basepaths

/acts like a dick

**OnlineHost** A sandbag has fallen from the sky and struck Manny Ramirez in the head.

MannyBoutTown: GUURRrrk

/passes out

MannyTheTorpedoes: /comes to

MannyTheTorpedoes: um

MannyTheTorpedoes: ummmmmm

MannyTheTorpedoes: u wan to play spies

EthierOr: Not really.

MannyTheTorpedoes: ummmm

u wan to watch fresh prins

EthierOr: OH GOD YES

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Dodgers Locker Room Chat!

EthierOr: Oh man, this is the greatest Fresh Prince scene ever.

MannyTheTorpedoes: is it the one when al borlan wear a flannl shirt

EthierOr: No, man! This is the one where Will's dad refuses to play Spies with him!

Will: Daddy-O! What's up?

Father: Will! Hey, glad you're here! Um.

Father: Some business came up I gotta handle.

Father: So we're gonna have to put our...our game of Spies on hold.

You understand.

Will: Yeah. That's...that's cool.

Father: Just for the rest of the season.

Will: Yeah. Yeah. I understand.

Father: Um.

Maybe for a little longer.

Will: Yeah. Whatever.

MannyTheTorpedoes: ...

MannyTheTorpedoes: :(

MannyTheTorpedoes: manny being daddy