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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Detroit Tigers Chat!
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Listen up, guys. Last year was tough, and we
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: See, I think Hugo Chavez gets a bad rap.
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KissTheSheff: Hugo Chavez? Isn't Venezuela part of the Axis of Evil?
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: No, we're part of the Tilt-A-Whirl Of Miscreants, along with Cuba and all the MacGyver villains.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Fellas, if I could have everyone's attention
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KissTheSheff: But Chavez is a repressive leftist dictator! All the stuff with oil!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: "All the stuff with oil"? What do you mean?
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KissTheSheff: I, uh
/logs on to Wikipedia
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Okay, guys, I
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KissTheSheff: He tried to eliminate term limits!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: Yeah, but he was voted down, which if nothing else suggests the limits of his power. Also, his election results have been verified by international watchdogs.
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KissTheSheff: Yeah, but he's an enemy of free speech!
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GotMeOnMyKnees: all right, guys, listen, our team has some obvious weak spots. Our second baseman is Mr. Potato Head and
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: I concede the point, but
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KissTheSheff: But what? Repression of free speech is a crime against humanity!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: True, but how do you exercise your free speech?
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KissTheSheff: i use it to speculate freely on whether derek jeter is or is not black enough
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: Yeah, my point exactly.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: If we could have some quiet, please, we really need to address our catching situation. Our starting catcher is Gerald Laird, who reminds me of the fat kid from "Bad Santa" to an uncomfortable extent, and
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KissTheSheff: Chavez is a socialist. You know that, right? A socialist.
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: Pretty much.
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KissTheSheff: Oh my God! You're all right with that? How did America get to be so great! Capitalism! Capitalism is the most sound form of government!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: well actually, american government holds the occasional socialist element as well
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KissTheSheff: pffft, yeah, ever since Superjesus Black Reagan moved into the White House!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: sure, but you also should keep in mind that in america's early years, the government gave farmers free land, and how do you think the railroad system was built
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Um, we also need to address our bullpen situation, since Joel Zumaya will be out for the next four to six years after playing a game of Katamari Damacy too vigorously and severing his spinal cord
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KissTheSheff: Yeah, but you can't call our government socialist!
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: no, you're right, we're supposed to be a republic, but in reality we're some sort of bureaucratic behemoth that oscillates between good ideas that don't work, and bad ideas that do work
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KissTheSheff: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Ahem, guys, if I could have a minute, we also need to look at our lineup. Brandon Inge is so bad that the Elias Sports Bureau has decided to express his OPS with a Mandarin character that means "when your testicles shift into an uncomfortable position and you can't fix it because you're in a public setting," so
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OhComeLetUsOrdonez: I'm just being pragmatic. Hugo Chavez is my fellow countryman. He's far from perfect, but if you're aware of a completely infallible philosophy of government, by all means let me know.
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KissTheSheff: I do. Have you ever seen Fight Club?
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GotMeOnMyKnees:
EVERYBODY SHUT THE F*** UP
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GotMeOnMyKnees:
THIS CHAT IS ABOUT THE DETROIT TIGERS AND HOW DISAPPOINTING WE ARE GOING TO BE, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM ALL OTHER LINES OF CONVERSATION
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Thank you.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Now, the AL Central is kind of weak this year. It's conceivable that if we can put together an 86-win season, we could make a run at the playoffs.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: Our team ERA is going to be 7.84, so that just means we have to
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MinerThreat: WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO DISCUSS RON PAUL
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GotMeOnMyKnees: oh f*** it
/strikes match against moustache, lights cigarette
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RonPaulstiltskin: I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS RON PAUL
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GotMeOnMyKnees: how did you get in here
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RonPaulstiltskin: i don't know, someone was having a meandering, unproductive, poorly-informed political discussion, and then POOF
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After a disappointing 2008, the Tigers are aiming for a slightly less disappointing, but still disappointing, 2009 season. They just need a focused, distraction-free Spring Training to get back on track. Now if, say, Magglio Ordonez elected to exercise his right to free speech by endorsing a controversial head of state...
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
"GotMeOnMyKnees: EVERYBODY SHUT THE F*** UP"
I imagine he probably did this several times LAST year.
Jim Leyland is the man. That is all.
Stupid article! Is this supposed to be funny? I found it insulting. The guy who wrote this dung should be canned for lack of talent.
Why does Jon get all the dippy hatemail?
"GotMeOnMyKnees: all right, guys, listen, our team has some obvious weak spots. Our second baseman is Mr. Potato Head and ..."
Haha AWESOME Dugout! and politically enlightning!
"The Tilt-A-Whirl of Miscreants" is the greatest literary creation since the dawn of time. I would also include the lame Flash Rogue's gallery in that class.
Why does Jon get hatemail????? Because his posts are s****y. As a columnist he belongs in the National Inquirer, not here.
Are you suggesting that my posts are fictitious? Because if you are, I will punch you in the face!
Jon Bois is a loudmouth asshole. He hasn't got a clue what it takes to be a basic human being, let alone a ball player. He should take his 5th grade drop-out tantrums and shove 'em up his ass where he found 'em. How the hell do people like him get to be put in the position to comment on anything? And then he wants to threaten to punch someone in the face. What a cowardly dickhead. Well, Jon bon juvenile, go sit in the corner and stfu.
This is my favorite Dugout in a few days, let the hate mail fly... this is brilliant.
/rides the Tilt-A-Whirl of Miscreants
No, Jon;
I am saying that your posts are stupid, insulting and a waste of AOL screen space.
Yet you read every single one of them.
Did Rick Reilly (Rielly) hijack houchens' AOL account? AOL IT should look into that.
Tee hee hee . . .