What Was A-Rod Thinking the Day Before His Life Changed Forever?

What was going through Alex Rodriguez's head in the hours and days between when SI.com's Selena Roberts showed up at a Miami gym to get his reaction to the news that he tested positive for a banned substance and the moment that the story broke to the world at large?

Was he assembling a crack crisis management team and enduring sleepless nights? Was he waking up in a cold sweat, worrying about his sacred legacy being tarnished forever?

As it turns out, no. He was worried about Madonna, or rather one of the pop star's songs.

Details magazine had the good fortune to interview Rodriguez in the days and weeks leading up to the revelation that would change his professional life forever.

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A Boston Red Sox fan carries a sign to needle New York Yankees infielder Alex Rodriguez before a MLB spring training exhibition game between the Red Sox and Yankees in Fort Myers, Florida, March 13, 2009. REUTERS/Steve Nesius (UNITED STATES)

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A fan holds up a sign regarding New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez during a spring training baseball game in Fort Myers, Fla., Friday, March 13, 2009. (AP Photo/Charles Krupa)

** FILE ** This is a 2008 file photo of Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees baseball team. Rodriguez has undergone arthroscopic surgery to repair a torn labrum in his right hip, and his projected timetable for recovery remains six-to-nine weeks. (AP Photo/Julie Jacobson, File)

New York Yankees Cody Ranson bats in the fifth inning against the Detroit Tigers in a spring baseball game at Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, FL. Ransom is playing third base in the absence of the Yankees regular third baseman Alex Rodriguez, who is out with a hip injury. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

New York Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman discusses Alex Rodriguez' hip condition with reporters in the press box during the Yankees spring training baseball game at Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, FL. Cashman said surgery had not yet been ruled out. (AP Photo/Kathy Willens)

New York Yankees general manager Brian Cashman talks to reporters in the press box about the hip injury of New York third baseman Alex Rodriguez during a MLB spring training exhibition game with the Detroit Tigers at George M. Steinbrenner Field in Tampa, Florida, March 6, 2009. REUTERS/Steve Nesius (UNITED STATES)

Reuters

** FILE ** In this Feb. 18, 2009 file photo, New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez stretches during spring training baseball in Tampa, Fla. The Yankees star will miss up to two months after he undergoes surgery to remove a cyst from his right hip. (AP Photo/Mary Altaffer, File)

Dominican Republic manager Felipe Alou (R) answers reporters' questions in the dugout regarding an injury to player Alex Rodriguez prior to exhibition game against the Baltimore Orioles in Ft. Lauderdale March 4, 2009. The Dominican Republic is preparing for the first round of the World Baseball Classic next week. REUTERS/Hans Deryk (UNITED STATES)

Reuters

Alex Rodriguez, right, kisses his 4-year-old daughter, Natasha, through a fence while practicing with the Dominican Republic team during spring training baseball practice for the World Baseball Classic Monday, March 2, 2009, at the St. Louis Cardinals training facility in Jupiter, Fla.

Jeff Roberson, AP

JUPITER, FL - MARCH 3: Third baseman Alex Rodriguez #13 of the Dominican Republic prepares for the pitch while taking on the Florida Marlins during an exhibition game at Roger Dean Stadium March 3, 2009 in Jupiter, Florida. (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images) *** Local Caption *** Alex Rodriguez

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The day before Roberts dropped a bombshell on the baseball world (the day after he first became aware of her discovery about his past), Rodriguez was making a call to the magazine to get a detail pulled from the story. The detail? His favorite Madonna song.

"The last thing I want to do is go to every stadium and have them play that song."

Ultimately, this is what is so difficult to understand about A-Rod. The slugger is so conscious of his image -- his place in baseball history and in the hearts of fans -- and yet he is so aloof, clueless and awkward. Any normal person would be sweating bullets or sick to their stomach with the knowledge that a deep, dark secret was about to be exposed. But A-Rod was worried about what the fallout would be if a not-so-deep, not-so-dark secret -- his favorite Madonna song -- became public knowledge.

It is also a perfect illustration of the hubris that ran so deep during baseball's Steroids Era. Even on the eve of his public humiliation, Rodriguez, like other stars before him, acted as if he couldn't or wouldn't be caught.

There are other interesting -- even humanizing -- parts in the interview, including an eerie bit of foreshadowing by Rodriguez when he was asked about Michael Phelps and the infamous photo that surfaced of him holding a bong.

"We live in a world right now where everyone's keeping score. And it doesn't stop when the games end ... They've crossed over. And you have the Internet stuff, and all these phones ... It's very intense."

But mostly the interview, which hits shelves March 24, is further confirmation of what the New York press has harped on him about almost since the moment he arrived in the Big Apple and what The Yankee Years reveals in greater depth: Alex Rodriguez just wants to be loved, but he is so uncomfortable in his own skin most of the time, it seems impossible to even get to know him in the first place.

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