Beware the Dugouts of March: The St. Louis Cardinals' 2009 Preview

Now that the other giant picture of Albert Pujols has fallen back several pages, it is safe for me to repost this classic photo depicting Albert appropriating both the George Gervin finger roll and Michael Jordan tongue wag. Is there anything this man can't do? No, there isn't. I mean, unless "having an acurate birth certificate" is a thing.

Last year's Spring Training Dugout for the Cardinals caused a bit of controversy when I chose to be preachy and somewhat dated instead of doing what I usually do, which is "read comic books, then write off the top of my head." I assure you, the problem has been remedied.

Today's Spring Dugz Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	MozeliakFirefox: If there's a way to keep you a lifetime Cardinal, that makes a lot of sense for everyone.
	MozeliakFirefox: You're very much an iconic player here, and if you want to stay, we're going to try to find a way to make that happen.
	PujolJunkie: Gracias Mr. Mozilla-yak, it is e'great honor
	MozeliakFirefox: I hope you enjoy the next 15 years in St. Louis!
	PujolJunkie: oh, e'forgot to tell you, I am no 29 years old, I am actually e'32
	MozeliakFirefox: the next 12 years in St. Louis
	PujolJunkie: I read that wrong, it say 35
	MozeliakFirefox: the next 6-9 years in St. Louis
	PujolJunkie: way, hold on... /holds paper up to face, squints
	MozeliakFirefox: the next year in st louis
	MozeliakFirefox: Anyway, you're a Cardinal for life, and that's what's important. Here are your aviator sunglasses and your generalissimo hat, if you could head out onto the balcony and wave at everyone with the back of your hand that would be great
	PujolJunkie: general e'simo
	Online Host PujolJunkie has left the chatroom.
	MozeliakFirefox: /wipes brow
	ManningTheTorpedoes: boss, what's this I hear about being a Cardinal for life, lemme get in on that
	MozeliakFirefox: oh, no, sorry, that isn't something we do here
	ManningTheTorpedoes: what, i just saw you do it literally seconds ago
	MozeliakFirefox: you mean the thing with Albert? That was a special occasion, a once in a lifetime thing.
	ManningTheTorpedoes: oh
	ManningTheTorpedoes: so there is no way that I can be a Cardinal for life? I was on the Nationals, so I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay here forever
	ManningTheTorpedoes: no, probably not
	ManningTheTorpedoes: can we do it like the Wolfpack and say that I am a Cardinal 4 Lyfe?
	ManningTheTorpedoes: with the... /makes wolf hand
	MozeliakFirefox: no, sorry
	ManningTheTorpedoes: can you let me win at the boardgame "Life," and report it to ESPN as breaking news
	MozeliakFirefox: no
	ManningTheTorpedoes: can I sit in the front row when we watch the eddie murphy/martin vehicle "Life" in the clubhouse
	MozeliakFirefox: what, are you just googling "Life" now?
	ManningTheTorpedoes: can I eat a bowl of ... /closes browser no
	MozeliakFirefox: and before you ask, you can't kill anybody in Busch Stadium and be put in jail in St. Louis for life. If we say you've got to be a National again, you've got to be a National again
	MozeliakFirefox: we didn't let Curt Flood get away with that sh*, I don't know what makes you think we'd let you* get away with it
	ManningTheTorpedoes: okay can i eat least bat eighth when i pitch?
	LaRussasOnFire: no
	ManningTheTorpedoes: you guys are jerks, i'm gonna go out there and take pujols' m. bison hat and shove him off the balcony
	ManningTheTorpedoes: then he will break his legs and you will have given lifelong power to the secretly 48-year old andruw jones
	Online Host ManningTheTorpedoes has left the chatroom.
	MozeliakFirefox: do you think he's really gonna do it?
	LaRussasOnFire: probably, but we've got time, he can't do anything without walking four guys first
	Online Host KyleLohsetomy has entered the chatroom.
	KyleLohsetomy: hey, did I hear you guys were letting people be Cardinals for life
	MozeliakFirefox: Yes! Just sign here

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

3-27-2009 @ 5:04PM

pstargalac said...

You guys are doing a heckuva job this spring... but what really happened Nick? You guys murdered him over the name "Spring Dugz," didn't you. If his journal ends up getting printed at newfrontiersman.fanhouse.com, you guys are in big trouble.

3-28-2009 @ 10:13AM

Donut King said...

"PujolJunkie: general e'simo"

He ain't The Mang for nothing, kids.

Oh, and while I've gotten over last year's Spiezio Spring Dugz, I don't know if I'll ever fully forgive y'all for that.