**OnlineHost** Welcome to New York Yankees Chat!

TeixMeix: so wait, let me get this straight

TeixMeix: I am now playing for the New York Yankees, the most storied franchise in the history of American sports

HanksForNothing: Correct.

TeixMeix: and as such, it is impossible for anyone to go through life without hearing things like YANKEE PRIDE or THE YANKEE TRADITION or whatever

TeixMeix: and everyone always talks about The House That Ruth Built, so I'm like, cool, I really can't wait to play for the Yankees

TeixMeix: and I get here

and I find out that YOU ASSHOLES ARE GOING TO DEMOLISH YANKEE STADIUM SO YOU CAN BUILD A NEW STADIUM RIGHT NEXT TO IT THAT IS EXACTLY LIKE IT AND CALL IT YANKEE STADIUM

HanksForNothing: Whoa, hold the phone! It's going to be a lot different!

TeixMeix: How is it going to be different?

HanksForNothing: It, uh

it has a few thousand less seats and more restrooms

HanksForNothing: oh and the seats will have more leg room

TeixMeix: More leg room.

HanksForNothing: yeah

each seat has between three and five inches more leg room

TeixMeix: So you people decided that the best way to give fans more legroom was not to re-arrange the seats in a more efficient manner, but to BLOW UP THE ENTIRE GOD DAMN HISTORIC BUILDING

HanksForNothing: Look, you're being naive. Sure, we're all going to miss the old Yankee Stadium, but it just wasn't viable.

HanksForNothing: It was in disrepair. Remember that time that a piece of steel fell off and crashed into a bunch of seats?

TeixMeix: Yeah, and they fixed it, right?

HanksForNothing: well yeah, but

see

See, okay, if you walk down some of the hallways in the old Yankee Stadium, you see these huge bundles of wire running across the ceilings. The stadium was built in another age, it wasn't built to handle modern technology.

TeixMeix: So...wait, what's your point?

TeixMeix: Is the idea that in the new Yankee Stadium, you won't need as many wires? Because I don't understand that argument.

TeixMeix: Or maybe you're saying that all the wires will be easier to organize and obscure from view than the wires in the old stadium?

TeixMeix: because seriously, radio shack has color-coded wire ties, they sell them for like two bucks

HanksForNothing: r-

really?

TeixMeix: Yes.

HanksForNothing: damn it

Well, still, a new stadium brings in more revenue over the long term. It was a business decision.

TeixMeix: I can't argue with that. It was a decision made out of self-interest, and a baseball team's job is to make money. I'm not so naive that I'm going to revert to that old hackeneyed "you are using public tax revenues to fund your private venture" argument.

TeixMeix: (even though it's a pretty sound argument, I think)

TeixMeix: But I wish you wouldn't justify your new stadium by rattling off a bunch of false dilemmas.

HanksForNothing: so sue me for using false dilemmas, i am a rich old fart with a million trillion dollars, i don't have any actual dilemmas

TeixMeix: I just...man, this level of dispensationalism just kills me.

TeixMeix: Yankee Stadium lasted like 85 years, right? So maybe like 30% of the American population will outlive it.

TeixMeix: The difference is that human beings are relatively very fragile, and they do all sorts of dangerous things, and they can contract any one of a million diseases or conditions that will kill them.

TeixMeix: Stadiums, on the other hand, are made of steel and concrete, and they just sit there. If something breaks, it's fixed.

Why is it like that? Shouldn't buildings outlive humans, and not the other way around?

HanksForNothing: sigh

Is this really the new identity of this team? Kyle Farnsworth is gone, and instead we have you, a preachy unfunny grand-stander?

TeixMeix: Yeah. Sorry.

To my next point: I happen to believe that athletes make too much money!

HanksForNothing: oh goddddd

Rodriguez, get in here!

ster_rod: WHAD CHOO NEED CHOLOS

HanksForNothing: Do something funny. Anything.

ster_rod: hmmmMMMMMMMmmmm

ster_rod: /stares at own reflection in mirror

HanksForNothing: hahahahaha

HanksForNothing: he just looked at himself in a mirror

HanksForNothing: i mean, WHO DOES THAT