The Dugout: In Celebration of Ray Shook

On April 16th, 1916, Ray Shook suited up for the Chicago White Sox ... or so they say. I invite you to take a look at his career statistics. If the statistics are to be believed, Ray Shook played one career game, but made zero plate appearances. To boot, he did not pitch, and he did not field. Perhaps he was brought in as a pinch runner at some point, or perhaps he never played at all.

Ray Shook is quite possibly the least consequential baseball player of all time, trumping even Moonlight Graham. April 16th was his day. He was celebrated. Then some jerk named Jackie Robinson got famous and had April 15th named after him. Shook was forgotten. To my knowledge, the only picture of him on the Internet is the one to the right, which I just drew in Microsoft Paint.

I hereby commence belated celebration for Ray Shook Day, and I encourage you to do the same by ... not playing baseball, I suppose. Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	OnlineHost Welcome to Chicago White Sox Chat!

	OzzieOzzieOzzie: That was a great Jackie Robinson Day, huh?
	YerMainGuy: What exactly constitutes a great Jackie Robinson Day?
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: Always thinking about Jackie Robinson all the time. All players should wear the number 42 on their uniforms. Everyone in the stands should shriek, "JACKIE ROBINSON" in chorus.
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: Before the game, we walk Jackie Robinson's widow onto the field and present her with a plaque. Then another plaque. Then another, until about six hours have passed and we run out of plaques. That ought to be enough to drive away the demons.
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: Then we spray-paint the word "BIGOTRY" on an ox, lead it onto the field, slaughter it, and take turns rolling around in its entrails.
	YerMainGuy: I don't know. Wouldn't it be better if we just said, "hey, Jackie Robinson was a great player. More importantly, he displayed remarkable courage and determination, and changed baseball and America at large for the better." And then we all agree that racism is terrible and that people were even dumber then than they are today, and then play a baseball game.
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: No. No, no, no. Jackie Robinson was a hero, which means that we should always be thinking about him at all times. If we forget about him for even one second, the boogeymen will kidnap us and drag us to Hell where we will live forever with the Devil.
	OnlineHost WordUpThome has entered the chat room.
	WordUpThome: HAPPY BELATED JACK
	WordUpThome: JACKIE ROBINSON DAY

	OzzieOzzieOzzie: How did you celebrate Jackie Robinson Day?
	WordUpThome: /shrug SHRUG I SMILED A LOT, SAID THANK YOU TO JACKIE ROBINSON, AND MADE SURE THAT I DID NOT COLLUDE WITH OWNERS TO KEEP PLAYERS OF OTHER RACES OUT OF BASEBALL
	WordUpThome: JACKIE ROBINSON WAS QUITE A FELLOW JIM THOME GOING OUT ON A LIMB THOME
	WordUpThome: HOWEVER, SOMETHING ELSE BRINGS ME TO OUR HUMBLE COMMODE THIS DAY
	WordUpThome: TODAY IS RAY SHOOK DAY AND HE SHALLN'T BE FORGOTTEN
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: Who was Ray Shook?
	WordUpThome: FOR ONE, A GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT SENTENCE
	WordUpThome: FOR TWO, A GENTLEMAN WHO PLAYED FOR THE WHITED SOX IN THE 1916TH YEAR OF OUR LORD
	WordUpThome: ON APRIL 16TH HE PLAYED HIS ONE AND ONLY GAME
	YerMainGuy: Yeah? Let me look up his stats. Hmm...
	YerMainGuy: So...it says he played one game in his career. But apparently he didn't have a single plate appearance, and he didn't field.
	YerMainGuy: What did this guy even DO? Technically, was he even a major league baseball player?
	YerMainGuy: This guy actually out-did Moonlight Graham.
	WordUpThome: MORE LIKE MOONLIGHT KILOGRAHAM
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: dun dun dunnnnnnn
	YerMainGuy: So why should we be celebrating Ray Shook?
	WordUpThome: WELL MY FINE FEATHERED FRIEND
	WordUpThome: JUST AS JACKIE ROBINSON PAVED THE WAY FOR YOU AND PERHAPS 35% OF DEREK JETER, RAY SHOOK PAVED THE WAY FOR BASEBALL PLAYERS WHO DO NOT ACTUALLY PLAY BASED BALL
	YerMainGuy: Like Carl Pavano?
	WordUpThome: QUITE
	YerMainGuy: You know, I think Ray Shook Day is a good idea. Let's throw a party.
	OzzieOzzieOzzie: let's go track down Evan Longoria and shake him violently
	WordUpThome: HAVE FUN BUT BIG OLD JIM CELEBRATES RAY SHOOK DAY IN HIS OWN MAN
	WordUpThome: MANNER
	OnlineHost Later that evening...
	WordUpThome: /washes dishes
	WordUpThome: /spends time with family
	WordUpThome: /brushes teeth
	WordUpThome: /climbs into bed
	WordUpThome: I HOPE I MADE YOU PROUD, MR. SHOOK
	WordUpThome: HERE IS FOR ALL THE BASED BALL YOU DID NOT PLAY
	WordUpThome: BUT THE HISTORIES SAY THAT, SOMEHOW, YOU WERE A BASED BALL PLAYER AND IT TRULY IS THE LIFE OF KIN
	WordUpThome: KINGS
	WordUpThome: /turns off light

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

4-21-2009 @ 12:53AM

Donut King said...

A masterpiece.

That is all.

4-22-2009 @ 11:04AM

littlejon013 said...

Simple, subtle, beautiful.

You guys should really write "The Tao of JIM THOME". He has an attitude about things that I really admire and have come to enjoy.