The Dugout: Baseball's Biggest Rivalry Re... turns?

This seriously happens to me every year.

The season ends, and I get depressed. But the offseason still needs Dugouts, so I bust "A" and work hard to find stories and interesting situations for Dugouts throughout the offseason, when no baseball is occuring and everything is heresay and conjecture. Five months go by and we've done 2,000 Dugouts about (essentially) nothing. We keep saying, "Man, I can't wait until the season starts, and doing Dugouts will be easier!"

Then the season starts. Suddenly, it is three weeks later and we've been sitting on our butts loving baseball. We turn to our left, see our computer, go "OH CRAP THE DUGOUT" and spend the entire season making up for the first month we missed.

Oh, and I almost forgot: tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Yankees/Red Sox Rivalry 2008 Chatroom!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: Mhoops /throws fastball behind batter's head
	MannyTheTorpedoes: grawwwlll im a moster
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: keep growlen an imma put you on my wall fathead
	OrtizItThisOne: Cool your jets, Manny, don't let this guy get to you. He has an ERA of 9.999, don't even swing, in a minute he's gonna turn around and throw one into the bleachers
	JetersNeverProsper: Watch your mouth, Ortiz! I'm the Captain of this squad, and what you say about our worst player you're also saying about ME!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: who was talken sh** about jonathan ablabladayho
	JetersNeverProsper: Shut up, Kyle
	OrtizItThisOne: Yeah, shut up, Kyle!
	JetersNeverProsper: HEY NOBODY TELLS HIM TO SHUT UP /tackles Ortiz, creates violently flailing dogpile
	OrtizItThisOne: ARGH, WHAT A PASSIONATE RIVALRY
	MannyTheTorpedoes: umma gray big moster i kill u all!!!!!! /jumps onto dogpile
	Online Host You have left the chatroom! Online Host Welcome to the Yankees/Red Sox Rivalry 2009 Chatroom!
	ADamonAppraoches: yaaaawwwwwn /stretches, scratches underarms
	EllsburyDoughboy: /takes lead that nobody notices, wanders from first to third
	JobaToTheStars: ham samwinch nom nom nom
	OrtizItThisOne: Hey! Hey JOBA!
	JobaToTheStars: /looks up from sandwich /has crappy off-brand mayo all over chin
	OrtizItThisOne: None of that, man -- just play the game the way it's supposed to be, and that's about it
	JobaToTheStars: /looks around confused wha you mean my sabwich
	OrtizItThisOne: You know what I mean! Don't throw at us! Or else!
	JobaToTheStars: uhhhhhhhm
	JobaToTheStars: dah, okay, i was gunna throw it at him /points to catcher
	OrtizItThisOne: /pinches bridge of nose
	JobaToTheStars: what
	OrtizItThisOne: Ugh, this sucks. What the hell is going on? Where are all the crazy characters that made this rivalry great?
	JetersNeverProsper: I'm right here!
	OrtizItThisOne: Oh shut up Jeter, unless we're playing in a body spray commercial you are the most boring asshole of all time.
	tekWar: I like to think that I am pretty interesting
	OrtizItThisOne: You haven't been interesting since 2004, and that was just because your hand was touching Alex Rodriguez's face.
	tekWar: I'm not even supposed to BE here this year!
	OrtizItThisOne: Come on, where is the foul-mouthed child of pop culture who knows a bunch of racial slurs but doesn't know how to properly assign them?
	OrtizItThisOne: Where is the lovable manchild whose zany antics show us that we shouldn't take sports so seriously?
	EllsburyDoughboy: uh, Papelbon is in the dugout
	OrtizItThisOne: I don't know what you mean, Papelbon takes the game VERY seriously.
	KingOfPap: /types cuss words into XBox
	OrtizItThisOne: But damn you guys, where has everybody gone? Where is the fire? The piss? The vinegar?
	OrtizItThisOne: Where are the gay sociopaths on steroids?
	JetersNeverProsper: /starts to raise hand, looks around, reconsiders
	OrtizItThisOne: This season sucks.
	Online Host Meanwhile, in the Los Angeles Dodgers Chatroom...
	MannyTheTorpedoes: bess episoe of fresh prins is when carldon buy a gun /destroys the hell out of the NL West
	MannyTheTorpedoes: (which I guess is a lot like "eating the hell out of a miniburger")
	EthierOr: We should probably turn off these DVDs, the Yankees are playing the Red Sox.
	MannyTheTorpedoes: o gray i love watchin the bosson red sogs play i wish i play for they team
	MannyTheTorpedoes: which fresh prins is necks
	EthierOr: The episoded where Will doesn't trust the church's widowed reverend so he spies on him and catches him making a pass at Ant Viv
	MannyTheTorpedoes: fres prins playin spies
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ok watch that insted
	Online Host Meanwhile, in the Kansas City Royals Chatroom...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i figgerd out the problem with my mechanics
	TreyHillMix: Thank God. What was the problem with your mechanics?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: they are polish an i never shoulda trusted a spear chucker like that to fix my car
	TreyHillMix: ....
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh you meant my throwen arm, oh, i figgert that out too
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i havent been rollen up my sleeve far enough to make batters intimidated by my antique doily tattoo what runs down my arm
	TreyHillMix: You know, I saw on ESPN2 today that the Yankees are playing the Red Sox... how much do you think it would take for me to send you back to them?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i dunno three-bone do they even still play, i heard they tore they're stadium down
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: loooool wear do you expect me to play, a huge pile of dirt
	TreyHillMix: No, the Mets don't play in their old stadium, either.
	Online Host Meanwhile, in the Home of Alex Rodriguez Chatroom...
	ster_rod: HOW LONGK IS THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK, IF YOU MAKE aRAH MISS HER STORIES, I SWURR /flips through channels
	ster_rod: OH LOOK, BASEBALL
	ster_rod: THE RED SOX ARE PLAYINGK THE YANGKEES! I HAVE A GREAT INTEREST IN THIS
	ster_rod: LOL IF JOO CHANGE THE WORD "RED SOX" TO "STRIPPERS" AND "YANGKEES" TO "PILE OF DRUGS"
	ster_rod: /changes channel back to All My Children
	ster_rod: SUSAN LOOTCHY JOO A BITCH