 |
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: SO I CHANGED MY BUDDY ICON FROM THE YELLIN ONE TO THE APISHLY CONFUSED ONE, BUT THE CAPS LOCK STILL MEANS "YELLIN" |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: NEXT QUESTION |
 |
Reporter: Why did you purposefully knock Carlos Zambrano to the ground, cut open his leg, and tear out his hamstring? |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WHO TOLD YOU THAT, ONLY PART OF THAT IS TRUE |
|
Reporter: I uh... read it. On a ... uh, blog. |
|
Reporter: Actually it was just a picture of Heidi Montag snorkeling, but at the bottom it says "Cubs Ace Zambrano Tears Hamstring" and I put two and two together |
|
Reporter: although it only says that on my page because I put "baseball' as one of my interests on Facebook |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BASEBALL |
|
Reporter: I'm a sports reporter. Of course not. |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: OHMIGARD, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO |
|
Reporter: /loads up Facebook app
Top five things I would not do with Carlos Zambrano
|
|
Reporter: "Make him run hard." This is represented by a small picture of Usain Bolt. |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WHAT DO THOSE WORDS MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: ARE YOU UPDATING AN INTERNET WHILE YOU TALK TO ME, DON'T TWIT WITH YOUR BLOG TO ME |
 |
KaZambrano: he's right, coach, you shouldn't make me move if you want to keep me off the DL, haven't you learned anything |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: YOU PLAY BASEBALL |
|
Reporter: #2, "Make him bat." This is represented by a picture of an actual bat, bat the animal lol |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: BAT THE |
|
KaZambrano: bat the animal! |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WE'RE IN THE NATIONAL LEAGUE |
|
Reporter: #3, "Let him do anything but pitch!" We don't pay him to do anything but pitch! |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: YOU DON'T PAY HIM TO DO ANYTHING, YOU AREN'T WE, WE ARE WE |
|
KaZambrano: actually, $1.44 million of my contract is devoted toward "hitting," because that is how baseball contracts work |
|
Reporter: I couldn't find a good picture for this one, so I uploaded my own, and it is me making a mad face! |
|
KaZambrano: you should listen to this guy, lou, he knows what he's talking about |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: HOW MUCH OF YOUR CONTRACT IS DEVOTED TO KISSING MY ASS |
|
KaZambrano: $0.0025 million |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WHAT IS THAT, LIKE 25 HUNDRED DOLLARS, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO MAKE THAT |
|
KaZambrano: I made that three times while killing myself to bunt for you |
|
Reporter: Number FOUR! |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: IS ANYONE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: THE ONLY FACE BOOK I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IS ME HITTING YOU IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY WITH A BOOK ABOUT MY FISTS |
|
KaZambrano: next question |
 |
Reporter: Yes, hi, my question is for Mr. Piniella, and it is "how stupid are you for letting this guy do this," with a followup question of "I mean, honestly." |
|
Reporter: And I would like the question answered in the form of a Myspace bulletin, which I can then post on my Myspace |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: MYSPACE BULLETIN |
|
KaZambrano: lol what are you from the middle ages, next question |
 |
Reporter: I am a representative from "Fleh," the blog for people without the attention span or vocabulary necessary for Twitter |
|
Reporter: could you give me four or less words that describe this situation, so that I can share it with others on the Fleh Network |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: UHHH |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: I... AM A BAD COACH /counts on fingers |
|
Reporter: Perfect! It is pretty tl;dr but if I take out the uhhh it should fit on the Fleh |
|
PiniellaOnTheDonkey: DON'T COMPROMISE MY VISION, GOD DAMMIT |
Alternate title for this episode of The Dugout: "The Dugout: Carlos Zambrano, Power Hitting Clean-Up Man or Guy Who Should Be Batting Third In Cubs Lineup Because He Is Good At Hitting? You Make The Call, A Special Story" But that wouldn't fit on the line.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-06-2009 @ 10:27AM
Donut King said...
I cannot envision this scenario ending without Piniella brandishing firearms.
Nice work!
Reply
5-09-2009 @ 2:34AM
nihilisticmind said...
Where is the dugout on Manny. Timeliness counts guys.
Reply