The Dugout: Step Right Up and Diagnose The Mets

"The Mets injury woes are becoming so comical that from now on I'm just going to imagine that Snoop and Chris Partlow are bringing starters one by one into vacant homes and shooting them in the head." - Matt W., on the Progressive Boink forums

The important thing to remember here is that now is when the Mets are supposed to be great. They don't start getting bad until the middle of September. If they can hurry up and be bad NOW, maybe they will be good at the END of the season. Or they will be so bad that Major League Baseball demotes them to AAA.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	RamirezTwoFaces: Next.
	DomoArigatoMrDelgado: Argh, I broke my hip! /hobbles
	RamirezTwoFaces: Not you again. How did you break your hip?
	DomoArigatoMrDelgado: I was getting out of the shower this morning, and I reached for my pills, but I weren't all the way out of the shower and slipped!
	RamirezTwoFaces: I would eat an entire stick of butter, record it, and put the video on YouTube if you could go an entire season without Old Lady Injuring yourself.
	RamirezTwoFaces: Six more months on the 15-day disabled list. Next!
	BeltranAway: I broke my hip!
	RamirezTwoFaces: Okay, tell me what happened.
	BeltranAway: You know how my knees aren't actual knees anymore but tennis balls with fishing line tied around them?
	BeltranAway: I was supposed to have an MRI done on them, and I had The Strength To Be There™, but when I put my legs in the machine it turned on and broke my hip
	BeltranAway: can I stay on the DL please
	RamirezTwoFaces: Ugh, okay. Next!
	strikeout_rod: afternoon Mr. Ramirez
	RamirezTwoFaces: Frankie! What can I do for you?
	strikeout_rod: Nothing. Just stopping by to say hello.
	strikeout_rod: ooh are those donuts? Can I have a blarrrggghghghghg /collapses in floor, breaks hip
	RamirezTwoFaces: AAAH, NEXT
	RamirezTwoFaces: Oh, Doug E. Doug, come on in.
	ReyesAGoodMovie: no sir i am jose reyes
	RamirezTwoFaces: Sorry about that, Kofi, what seems to be the trouble?
	ReyesAGoodMovie: i broag my hip playing beisbol, i can no longer play shorstop /tears up
	RamirezTwoFaces: Aww, don't cry! You're a great player, and we have a deep roster for situations just like this. We'll let Alex play short until you get better.
	LexCor: can't do that, Ray
	RamirezTwoFaces: What? Why not?
	LexCor: My hip: she's broken
	LexCor: I was dancing to the song "Hip To Be Square" by Huey Lewis and His News when the sharp points of the square caught my hip and broke its bones
	LexCor: this is the first time that Huey Lewis has ever PREVENTED me from playing "sports."
	RamirezTwoFaces: What a Small World. Jose was also Hard At Play when he broke his hip. We'll just play Ramon Martinez, he doesn't have any broken hips.
	MartinezDryCleaning: correction, i have TWO broken hips
	RamirezTwoFaces: how in the
	RamirezTwoFaces: How the f*** do you have two broken hips, you never play, you are barely on this team. You currently see less playing time than Jesse Orosco.
	MartinezDryCleaning: no idea baws, everybody else was doin it and hips are made to be broken
	RamirezTwoFaces: Then we have no shortstop. IS THERE ANYONE ELSE HERE WHO CAN PLAY SHORTSTOP
	MartinezDryCleaning: /looks around
	LexCor: /looks around
	ReyesAGoodMovie: /looks around
	MetLife: don't look at me, i am a man made out of baseballs
	RamirezTwoFaces: sigh. Next.
	LordsOfTheRyanChurch: I broke my hip!
	RamirezTwoFaces: No you didn't, we put you on the DL for mental retardation.
	LordsOfTheRyanChurch: My legs hurt! My head hurts! Everything is all dizzy!
	RamirezTwoFaces: ok, your diagnoisis is "it is may, you are ryan church." You will feel better in a couple of months, when it is too late to help anybody
	LordsOfTheRyanChurch: /tries to leave office, misses door