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MLB

The Dugout: Dontrelle Willis Returns

In case you've been living under a rock for the past 17.2 innings, Dontrelle Willis is back. That frenetic, majestic delivery of his, which you see to the right, was a piece of Major League Baseball canon when he pitched for the Marlins. It was as Bob Gibson as one can get in this decade.

To understand the real-life resurgence of D-Train, I strongly suggest you read Andrew Johnson's piece. To understand his place in the history of The Dugout, I suggest you read our Wikipedia entry. Good Lord, I'm glad he's back.

Your battle rap of a Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

**OnlineHost** Welcome to Detroit Tigers Chat!

OhComeLetUsOrdonez: back in '08 the experts was anointin'

us like we was the baby jesus in the buntin'

OhComeLetUsOrdonez: and it didn't even matter if we were swinging or buntin'

we fell in the standings like we was straight up nothin'

OhComeLetUsOrdonez: this is a rap, so i'm s'posed to say i'm frontin'

but no f***in' way, i was straight up huntin'

and gruntin'

OhComeLetUsOrdonez: an' behavin'

like the AL CENTRAL LITTER

DEAD LIKE JOHN RITTER

LOOKIN' LIKE QUITTERS

DOWN IN THE CELLAR

YOU KNOW HELLEN KELLER

COULN'VE

OhComeLetUsOrdonez:

taught us how to recognize water from a faucet

we lost it

MrRobertsonsNeighborhood:

and you know i tried to toss it

MrRobertsonsNeighborhood:

straighter than steve fossett

MrRobertsonsNeighborhood:

but i wrecked into the mountains

and you know my bones was rottin'


MrRobertsonsNeighborhood:

by the time the feds found 'em


MrRobertsonsNeighborhood:

and then the sox were oustin'

GotMeOnMyKnees: US FROM THE STANDIN'S

you know it got me rantin'

you know it got me pantin'

well maybe it was the smoke

GotMeOnMyKnees: cause i smoke the PALL MALLS

when i called the ROLL CALL

i thought i'd kill ALL Y'ALL

GotMeOnMyKnees: cause ALL i asked ya was to HAUL the BALL as i CALL an' keep it from the WALL

GotMeOnMyKnees: but y'all just STALLED

and when ya didn't i didn't BAWL, i took a DRAW from some FALLS city and then i CALLED...

GotMeOnMyKnees: give a beat to my man right here, give a beat to my man right here

MrRobertsonsNeighborhood: a boomboomboom

OhComeLetUsOrdonez:

a boombamboom

MeTrain: ...

OhComeLetUsOrdonez: aw damn it's the train

GotMeOnMyKnees: aw s***

MrRobertsonsNeighborhood: oh no is this a rap album, is it time for an impromptu sketch

MeTrain: ...

MeTrain: ...

MeTrain: ...

MeTrain: the dontrelle willis, the mothaf***in illest

MeTrain: the mothaf***in realist

MeTrain: an y'all can feel this

MeTrain: if ya want to or if ya dont

MeTrain:

it aint make a dent to me anyway

MeTrain:

i spent last season in triple A

MeTrain:

coulda spent that s*** in tripoli

MeTrain:

aint give a f*** what you say

MeTrain:

thered be hell to pay

MeTrain:

cause my leg kick high to the milky way

MeTrain:

ya cant hold my ERA

MeTrain:

you seen my commercials for united way

MeTrain:

wait naw!

MeTrain:

/clears throat

MeTrain:

that was the boys an' girls club, i hate to snub, y'all want me to lob at some snob, sink him like suds in a tub when i pull the plug? you want him to say *glug* or rub-a-dub-dub? want him to whiff like a chicago cub? cut him like wolverine, call him 'bub'? eat him up like fenway grub? splice him out like a USB hub? burn his castle like im the Dread Pirate Rob? pretend to burn his castle like the Dread Pirate Rob? twist his f***in strike zone like it's a f***in knob? who carry a club an' think he Roy Hobbs, i bust him in his knob like i'm bob

GIBSON

MeTrain: yeah i tempt some

MeTrain: to swing some

MeTrain: in 2009 cause

MeTrain: i can take it to nine cous'

MeTrain:

I'M BACK MOTHAF***AS

MeTrain: an' if theres nothin else to say

MeTrain: besides all this ecstasy

ya just heard

MeTrain: just know that the train knows fame an if i drain my fame it dont matter, cause my aim still the same

MeTrain: an' if ya trade the train then ya trade ya brain

MeTrain: /drops mic

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons

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