The Dugout Wants You to Vote Mariners

Ichiro Suzuki extended his hitting streak to 24 games tonight, so I thought "hey, maybe I should do a Mariners Dugout" and went to their homepage. I was greeted by images of the Mariners pointing at me, announcing that they want ME to vote "Mariners" in the 2009 All-Star Game. Always one to please, I opened up my ballot, wrote "Mariners" in for second base, and submitted it.

To save you the unnecessary confrontation of that, tonight's late night Dugout includes everything you need to know about the Seattle Mariners going into the All-Star Game: Ichiro is good at hitting, Ken Griffey Jr. plays there, and Jay Buhner is retired. I think?

The Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	Suzuki: /drops ball in shallow infield, beats out throw to first base
	Online Host Welcome to the Seattle Mariners Dugout Chatroom!
	MagiCarp: who do you have in left field for the National League?
	KillerKahn: Manny Ramirez, duh /scribbles onto piece of paper
	Elijah_Price: Hey, what are you kids doing over there?
	KillerKahn: Filling out our Walt Disney Pictures Presents G-Force All-Star Ballots.
	MagiCarp: because "This Time, It Counts!™ See G-Force in theaters July 24th."
	Elijah_Price: Holy crap what is wrong with your face, you look like someone's improperly shaven armpit
	Elijah_Price: and, Awesome! I didn't know they were making a G-Force movie. I loved watching Battle of the Planets when I was little. Who'd they get to play Jinpei?
	KillerKahn: uhhh I don't know who that is but this particular film is a 3-D animated feature presupposing that the babies from Baby Geniuses were actually Guinea Pigs with rocket launchers
	MagiCarp: It looks really funny, the trailer had me laughin'!
	KillerKahn: they use the song "Don't Cha" when a character is supposed to be sexy, I almost sh** my pants right there in the theater
	Elijah_Price: uhhhh okay
	Elijah_Price: Hey you guys know that you can't put Manny Ramirez on the ballot, right? He's suspended.
	KillerKahn: maybe, but he is awesome at baseball right
	Elijah_Price: Well, yeah, but the All-Star Game is supposed to reward players who had a great first half, not players who were good last year.
	MagiCarp: I don't even remember last year. I didn't even have eyebrows last year
	Elijah_Price: eeengghhh. /shakes it off Who else do you have in the outfield?
	KillerKahn: right now it's Manny Ramirez, Barry Bonds, and I had Ken Griffey but Carp told me that Ken Griffey and Ken Griffey Jr. was the same person
	KillerKahn: I thought Junior played for the Reds and the old one played for us
	MagiCarp: we couldn't name anybody else
	Online Host Meanwhile, on the field.

	Suzuki: /stands on tiptoes, tries to see if anybody is going to come out of the dugout and try to drive him in
	Online Host Back in the Dugout...
	Elijah_Price: What about in the American League? Surely you can name more than two players in the American League.
	KillerKahn: okay so far we have Ken Griffey .... junior?
	Elijah_Price: yes
	KillerKahn: ...starting in center field...
	MagiCarp: ...because we have heard of you
	Elijah_Price: ..even though I am currently batting .205 and play in right field
	KillerKahn: At first base I've got my good friend Michael Carp
	MagiCarp: thank you
	KillerKahn: with Frank Thomas as his backup. At shortstop we've got...
	Elijah_Price: Let me guess, Cal Ripken Jr., because you have heard of him?
	KillerKahn: no, Derek Jeter, what are you, stupid
	MagiCarp: lol who the f*** is cal ripken jr. /writes in incorrectly-spelled "yunalesky bettingcourt" in well thought out ballot
	Online Host Meanwhile, on the field.
	Suzuki: /puts hat down on first base to signify ghost runner, walks back to home plate

	Suzuki: /drops down infield hit, picks up hat, places it on second base, runs back to first before anybody can throw him out
	Online Host Back in the Dugout...
	KillerKahn: who else do we have playing in the outfield for American League, we need to make sure they're good because that's the league we're in, and this one Counts™
	MagiCarp: Does "A-Rod" play outfield?
	Elijah_Price: What about Ichiro? /motions out onto field, where Ichiro's hat is turning a bunt into extra bases
	KillerKahn: uh, yeah, he's good and all, but uh, heh, no thanks
	Elijah_Price: Are you kidding me? That guy could get a single without even using a bat.
	MagiCarp: yeah, maybe, but he's a Leonard Saber-level jerk
	KillerKahn: that guy is never nice to us, why would I want to hang out with him during the All-Star Game?
	Elijah_Price: wait, you guys put yourselves on the ballots?
	KillerKahn: pssh, of course, why wouldn't we? We are stars. His Mom told me I was a star!
	MagiCarp: Yeah bro my Mom thinks the world of Stephen Kahn!
	KillerKahn: maybe you should vote for yourself, Griffey, I don't know who the all-time vote getter for the all-star game is, but by the looks of your .205 average you've got some, heh, catchin' up to do!
	Elijah_Price: Ichiro just stole home by throwing his shoe
	MagiCarp: this is boring /balls up Walt Disney Pictures Presents G-Force All-Star Ballot, throws it out onto field
	KillerKahn: yeah, new game
	Elijah_Price: thank God, I was two seconds away from chatting up the Mariner Moose
	KillerKahn: new game: "Will Ichiro's hitting streak end before or after Ken Griffey Jr. gets hurt?"
	MagiCarp: I don't know, Ichiro is pretty good!
	KillerKahn: and Ken Griffey Jr. is pretty old!
	Elijah_Price: damn guys I'm sitting right here
	Suzuki: /somehow manages one-man grand slam, Mariners still lose by 3 runs