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RegularGonzalez: /takes practice swings |
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HammelFigurines: /looks for signs |
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YourFeetAreRealBad: /signals for "high and way, way, way inside" by basically standing up and pointing at Edgar Gonzalez's head |
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HammelFigurines: /readies pitch |
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RegularGonzalez: /rests bat on shoulder |
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**Online Host**
Solipsism is a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing.
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PrincipatoBlanco: so hey, did you guys see hangover |
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PastorQuotedEverth: oh yeah i heard about that, i want to see that, i heard it was good |
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JoshGeerSolid: wow, when did you manage to "hear about that," was it when it was number one at the box office for like three weeks and made over 200 million dollars, and everyone in the world saw it |
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PastorQuotedEverth: haha yeah man it looks good, somebody told me it was good |
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JoshGeerSolid: who told you that |
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PastorQuotedEverth: you don't know them, just some guy I know who saw it, he said it was okay /blank stare |
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JoshGeerSolid: so was this the same little guy who lives in your head and convinced you that it's better to pretend like someone else had your opinions just in case the person you're talking to doesn't and you need to change them to fit in, orrrr |
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PrincipatoBlanco: guys, hold on, something just happened to Edgar... |
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**Online Host**
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**Online Host**
Moments before... |
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HammelFigurines: /readies pitch |
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RegularGonzalez: /rests bat on shoulder |
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RegularGonzalez: 71 degrees. Nice out here, as usual. Clear. It looks like he's setting up for a fastball. I need to run to first base if I make contact. I should shave. |
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RegularGonzalez: Okay, here comes the pitch. The lady in the third row is wearing a low cut shirt. I would like to see her breasts. Do I get a discount at PETCO for playing at PETCO Park? |
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RegularGonzalez: Steady now. Eye on the ball. Keep your hands back, follow through with your swing. |
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RegularGonzalez: God, I don't talk to you as much as I should. Please don't let it happen. |
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RegularGonzalez: Don't lose my memory. ... Let me be alive. Don't let something happen to my brain where I can't function. I didn't want anything to happen to my brain. |
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RegularGonzalez: My mother is rocking me to sleep. The Fraggles are on television, I can hear them with my eyes closed. Yorvit Torrealba's shoes are dirty. Am I on the ground? |
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RegularGonzalez: I'm walking. I'm riding on a cart. It feels like I'm typing this, but I might only be thinking it. My hands aren't moving, so I guess I'm not typing it. |
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RegularGonzalez: I should get at least 10% off at PETCO, because I am basically an advertising employee and... lift your head, they're trying to put on the brace |
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RegularGonzalez: deep breath, you're walking into the clubhouse, they haven't seen you since- since when? |
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**Online Host**
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RegularGonzalez: /instinctively covers head, collapses to the ground |
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HammelFigurines: oh sh** |
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HammelFigurines: oh sh** |
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HammelFigurines: ohhhhh sh** |
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HammelFigurines: ugh, it is 71 degrees, why am I sweating so much... I wish Major League Baseball would spring for hats that don't make me feel like I've got a Sham-Wow on my head |
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HammelFigurines: sh** sh** sh******** |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: Hey man, say something |
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HammelFigurines: Oh. Sorry, I thought I was typing. I was trying to say swear words |
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BarmesAway: we aren't hearing swear words, it just sounds like you're shushing us |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: Man, you got him pretty good. You think he's all right? |
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HammelFigurines: God, I don't know. I could've killed him. Just like that, the word turns, and everything changes. |
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BarmesAway: good hitters are taught to turn into the ball |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: and Edgar hits for the Padres, which means that he turned away from the ball. So he should be okay |
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BarmesAway: lol yeah i saw this guy bunt one time by swatting at the ball with his hand and running off in the opposite direction |
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TheWitzkiAintWorkin: if he dies, can we get his PETCO discount? |
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BarmesAway: haha we are the worst Christians ever |
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HammelFigurines: /stares down at hands |
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**Online Host**
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JoshGeerSolid: so, what was Heaven like? |
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RegularGonzalez: I remember the ball coming toward me, and thinking I should get out of the way... and then I woke up fresh, and painless, in a beautiful airport concourse. |
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RegularGonzalez: The guide directed me to a series of hotel rooms... there was a big banner reading "OUR PLAYOFF HOPES," and Matt Bush was there, and he kept crying and screaming at me |
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RegularGonzalez: Mike Darr was there... everything he said was profound and inspirational, but in a complacent, accepting way. He says hi. |
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PrincipatoBlanco: awesome, what was his screen name? |
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RegularGonzalez: WhereEaglesDarr |
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RegularGonzalez: I don't know if it was the actual Heaven, though. It was more like an impressionist, romantic joke-Heaven. I can't imagine an afterlife that requires me to tackle the Crazy Crab
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RegularGonzalez: Jesus was there, though. Wait, why would the actual Jesus need a screen name? He's in every chatroom all the time, and... /holds head |
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RegularGonzalez: I wish I could remember what happened. |
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PastorQuotedEverth: did you eat any sofa pizza while you were there, hahahah have you seen that movie |
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JoshGeerSolid: you still haven't seen that movie, ass, you only know that quote because it was my Facebook status |
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PastorQuotedEverth: but it sounded funny, and I watched the trailer on daily motion and I could imagine them saying it |
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PastorQuotedEverth: and i didn't get that quote from you, i got it from somebody else |
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JoshGeerSolid: who, who did you get it from |
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PastorQuotedEverth: .... uh, Edgar |
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JoshGeerSolid: bull sh**, Edgar's facebook status has been "dahhhhhhh" since Saturday |
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PrincipatoBlanco: I'm just happy you're okay, Edgar. We found you on the roof! You couldn't remember anything! |
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JoshGeerSolid: loool |
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PastorQuotedEverth: hahah, is that from something |
There is no joy in watching a player get drilled in the head with a fastball. Other than the Indians, it is maybe the worst thing that can happen on a baseball diamond. Crashes are a selling point of NASCAR, fights are a loyalty-building exercise in the NHL, and limp-wristed sissy fights are top shelf NBA news. In baseball, everyone needs to be OK. They need to be on drugs, and totally OK.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
7-22-2009 @ 12:26AM
Donut King said...
"BarmesAway: haha we are the worst Christians ever"
For whatever reason this made me laugh out loud. I am evil, and I have no problem with that.
Reply