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- Jon Bois
- Jon Bois is a FanHouse Blogger
Google has rendered private detectives largely unnecessary. The video game revolution has brought tough times upon jump rope manufacturers. And now,
as Lackey reports, a pair of baseball-playing robots have been built. Yes, it's only a matter of time before today's baseball players are disenfranchised for the benefit of a weird-looking arm thing that sits on a table and chucks a baseball.
More to the point, though: never, ever let bots into chat rooms. Your Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Kansas City Royals Chat!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ooh ooh look at me im mark burly
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /throws chess set across room
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: look i just threw a perfect game
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /throws Michael Jackson's "Invincible" across room
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ooh look at me i just threw a no hitter
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TreyHillMix: Kyle, knock it off.
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i can hurl the dead cow spferoid as well as that velcro faced fyord dweller
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wheres my f***en parade
why isnt president coltrane callen me up an congratulaten me
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TreyHillMix: Because you can't go an entire game without allowing a baserunner. You can't even go an entire pitch without allowing a baserunner.
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TreyHillMix: Your ERA is listed as "Pre-Cambrian."
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TreyHillMix: By the way, it seems as though Kyle Davies was eaten by wolves in AAA-Omaha, so I'm bringing in an arm to replace him long-term. Say hello to our new bot!
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what the f***, is this optimus primes penis
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TreyHillMix: It's a robotic arm! From Japan!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh no what did you do with the rest of hideo nomo
nevermind dont care
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: well
say somethen
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /stares
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BOT: KYLE FARNSWORTH, There are four women in Kansas City who want to meet you. Click Here!
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what
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BOT: Area Mom Lost 25 Pounds By Obeying This 1 Simple Rule!
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JoakimBackKotter: Coach, did you just let a bot into our chat room?
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TreyHillMix: Well, yeah.
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JoakimBackKotter: Why?
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TreyHillMix: It had a convincing story! It said that a local dad in Kansas City made $88 an hour!
Right after that, it said that another local dad in Kansas City made $6,000 a month!
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TreyHillMix: It also asked me whether I thought Obama was doing a good job. I was flattered that it wanted to hear my opinion, and I couldn't help myself!
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JoakimBackKotter: oh my God
this is an adbot, what have you done
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: pfffffft
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: whoa
WHOA
GIVE ME IT
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: WHO THINKS I'M
IDIOT
IPOD
/click click click
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: OKAY
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: I WILL
COINS
AAAAAAHH
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: ha
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BOT:
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pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: WHA
RINGTONES
/click click click click click
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JoakimBackKotter: These things aren't actually for real, are they?
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OlivoSudden: Of Course They Are! I Make $2 Million A Year Working From Home!
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Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Holy scheisse!
"BOT: BUY THE CHICAGO CUBS . . . WIN NOTHING"
Fricken' ZZZZZZING!
President Coltrane....oh man
This and Thome talking to the margarine might be the best back to back dugouts ever.
Punchline of the year, boys. Exceptional.