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**Online Host**
Welcome to the Pittsburgh Pirates Playoff Carousel Chatroom! |
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NealBeforeZod: I don't know how to read or count, how many games back are we in the division? |
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RussellFanFest: 22, Mr. Huntington |
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NealBeforeZod: ...and how many games do we have left in the season? |
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AndradeGiant: 34, Mr. Huntington |
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NealBeforeZod: and how many games are there in a season? Normally? |
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DonLongSilver: 162 normally, Mr. Huntington |
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NealBeforeZod: and what division are we in? |
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YouGottaVarshoAss: The NL Central, Mr. Huntington |
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NealBeforeZod: Hmmm, that's the one with the Yankees and the Red Sox and the Dodgers, right? Hm, that's going to be hard |
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NealBeforeZod: but opening up the calculator function on my computer and getting my assistant to do the math, I just found out that 34 - 22 = 12 |
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NealBeforeZod: So that means we aren't mathmatically eliminated! |
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RussellFanFest: we were mathmatically eliminated so bad last year they gave us rollover losses and just eliminated us again for this year |
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NealBeforeZod: /frantically mashes keys |
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RussellFanFest: i was kidding |
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NealBeforeZod: haha, you guys and this chatroom, always exaggerating so much, acting crazy... lol remember the time when you said we hadn't had a winning season in 17 years |
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NealBeforeZod: n e wayzzz, how do we get better? How about a new stadium? You guys want that? |
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AndradeGiant: our park is beautiful and great |
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NealBeforeZod: You don't want like, like a retractable dome? Or a big sliding board? Or a train? A pirate train! |
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AndradeGiant: no |
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NealBeforeZod: no Wednesday afternoon concerts before, during, and after the game by Big and Rich? No? Okay, how about uniforms? |
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DonLongSilver: our unis still look really good, too |
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YouGottaVarshoAss: except for the sleeveless red ones that made us look like an intramural basketball team |
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NealBeforeZod: You didn't like those? I designed them myself, after I fell into a disasterous arrangement of condiments |
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NealBeforeZod: in 2010 the Pirates will be debuting new blue and red uniforms with our new logo, "Pittsburgh" written in cursive while a grimacing, muscular cartoon bird swings a bat |
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AndradeGiant: ughhhh |
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NealBeforeZod: It gets better, instead of pants you'll be wearing black mesh shorts with slightly longer grey shorts underneath. Like my favorite shorts from second grade! |
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RussellFanFest: I have a suggestion |
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NealBeforeZod: Oh, good! Hi, and what's your name? |
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RussellFanFest: Uhhh, John Russell, I'm the coach... |
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NealBeforeZod: I thought Craig T. Nelson was Coach??? |
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RussellFanFest: Why don't we stop trading away every talented 28 year old we get if we keep them in the minors until they're 27? |
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NealBeforeZod: how about instead of doing that, we get inspired by soul hits of the 70s |
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DonLongSilver: no, seriously, we get some pretty good young players, if we kept them or arranged them in some kind of useful way we could at least be like, San Francisco good |
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NealBeforeZod: you think I don't like good players? Look at Ryan Doumit! We've held on to him FOREVER |
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RussellFanFest: Ryan had one good year and then his attitude went to sh**, I had to bench him in the middle of the game the other day |
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RussellFanFest: I told him I was replacing him with Robinzon Diaz, but I think he figured out there's nobody named "Robinzon" in the world |
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AndradeGiant: we should trade Robinzon Diaz to Florida for Logglobo Vlandignorf |
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NealBeforeZod: How old is Vlandignorf? |
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AndradeGiant: pretty sure I just made him up |
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NealBeforeZod: Hmmm, sounds risky, he might end up being too good and we'd have to trade him right back |
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NealBeforeZod: How about this, I didn't want to do this until the end of 2012, but I'll go ahead and call up Daniel McCutchen. Maybe he can help. |
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NealBeforeZod: /activates palm crystal |
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**Online Host**
Meanwhile, in the AAA Indianapolis Indians Chatroom! |
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CookFoodInMcCutchen: /red symbol on hand begins to flash |
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CookFoodInMcCutchen: I just got called up to the Pirates roster! I'm pitching against the Reds tomorrow night! |
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WaterMeloan: NO! Don't go in there! You're going to be 27 in a few weeks! No one has to die at 27! You could live! LIVE! Live, and grow old! I've seen it! He's seen it! |
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**Online Host**
Last day. Capricorn 17. Year of the City - 2009. Carousel begins. |
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TaggBozieSpray: No! Don't! Don't go! Listen to him! He's telling the truth! We've been outside! There's another team you can play for! We've seen it! |
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WaterMeloan: Pirate callups are a lie! Carousel is a lie! There is no contract renewal! |
Things are about to turn a corner in Pittsburgh. End the Futilitywatch, ace pitching prospect Daniel "The Man" McCutchen will make his Major League debut Monday night against the Cincinnati Reds. This year McCutchen is already 13-6 with a 3.47 ERA in 24 starts, and in his last 52 innings has walked only four while striking out forty. He is like Jay Bruce and Matt Wieters combined! Except his pitches!
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
pittsburg has the steelers, the pirates and the penquins! who wouldn't want to live there
I would trade any player in the world straight up for Logglobo Vlandignorf.
Logglobo Vlandignorf is really a great buy-low sell high type guy with a lot of upside.
And to think . . . I'd thought Tagg Bozied had fallen off the face of the earth after Cardinals spring camp in '07.
run, Logan, run! be free!
Like a tree falling in an empty forest, if the Pirates and Marlins make a trade with each other to dump payroll are any fans around to notice?
Good to see Loria deal Logglobo Vlandignorf before he is around a few more years to make just over league minimum. Thanks to the Pirates now Cubs fans wont have to worry about another Kevin Gregg situation.
BOOM, THERE'S PITTSBURGH'S CLOSER
IF ANYONE CAN READ THIS PLEASE GET THIS MESSAGE TO MR LORIA OR THE GM OF ANY TEAM BESIDES THE PIRATES: PLEASE SEND MONEY MY ENTIRE FAMILY HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY SMUGGLERS