The Dugout: Detroit Ink

When asked to name the Major League Baseball player who most resembles Allen Iverson, Detroit Tiger and fellow Lynchburg, Va. alumni Brandon Inge wouldn't be at the top of the list. But here we are in September and those forearm tattoos he got back in August still haven't worn off. If the Tiger manage to make the playoffs, he should compete in a retro headband and a big arm-sized glove that makes him look like Sally Jupiter.

As the race for the AL Central heads into the home stretch, it is important to analyze these tattoos and see how they match up with the rest of the division. Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the AL Central Chatroom!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: an then joker gets pumped full a titan so he can battel you, an he looks like this neo-carnie steampunk wwe bend-em
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you know the game by stabben joker in his back with your gun that shoots ropes an batman finally gets revenge the only way he knows how: murders
	LawnMauer: I really don't care about any of this.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the enden is that you go in toward the castle an toad says "thank you batman but the ice princess is in another castle"
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the xbox says i got 91% complete but i think 91 is the most you can have, i don't know why they do it like that
	LawnMauer: that's great... hey, I'm gonna go stand over here and, uh, wait for my MVP award. By myself.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no problem man do you want to know the entire history of dcau harley quinn
	Online Host TheAngryInge has entered the chatroom.
	LawnMauer: Hey Kyle, check it out, Brandon got new tattoos on his forearms
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: whatttttt
	TheAngryInge: aw come on man you promised me you weren't going to do that
	LawnMauer: heh heh, mvp baby
	Online Host LawnMauer has left the chatroom.
	TheAngryInge: sigh
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: give it up bro raise them dux an lets see some a that sweet central virginia flesh art
	TheAngryInge: /turns around
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: holy f*amole that sh is tighter than jamie moyers heart valves, it looks like you are wearing ed hardy on your farms at all times
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: tell me you have gotten a murderous lion tatooed on your bosom
	TheAngryInge: The stereotype about tattoos drives me nuts, but don't judge me by this. These are very special to me.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what does that one say
	TheAngryInge: /holds up forearm
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: read it to me your arm looks like the delcaration of indapendents, s'like francis lightfoot lee quilled the sh** outta you're arm, i get that close to school an my brain shuts down
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: also i cant read cursive
	TheAngryInge: This arm says "Chase"
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: because that is your favirote charles sheen vehicle
	TheAngryInge: No, because that's my son's name. Both of my tattoos are for my sons.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the one where he makes like the mobile chris dollanganger an deflowers kristy swanson in her autmobile
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that is a good ass movie you sure your tattoo isnt about that
	TheAngryInge: No, pretty sure it's about my son.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what does that one say
	TheAngryInge: "Tyler."
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: in honor of the tyler parry film franchise
	TheAngryInge: No, Tyler is my other son. Chase and Tyler.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you were such a fan of dairy of a mad black woman that you stain'd your body for a ternity... pretty progressive there jack robinson
	TheAngryInge: I didn't get a tattoo about that movie!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: if it wasent for dairy of a bad black woman was it for meet the brown family, or perhaps "i can do things badly by myself"
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: madea goes to camp
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the family that beats kathy bates in her white ass any of these
	TheAngryInge: I don't think those are the correct names for any of those things
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what about that tyler perry movie where the poster is all artsy, but it is still just a two hour episode of good times
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: which one was that, was it "all of them"
	TheAngryInge: No, my tattoos are about my family. I'm from Lynchburg, the only things I can get tattoos of are my family, Jesus, or Wards road
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: that would be cool you could get the hollywood video on your shoulder an the best buy on your wrist
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: google earth bitch thats how i know
	TheAngryInge: hey look I need to ... stand over here, the playoffs are about to start and I need to be ready just in case we don't completely blow it
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: dont worry you got time to summon conversation an shoot the shoat with kyle farnsworth
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: here lemme show you my tatz /clenches fist, whips up sleeve
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: on this arm is a tribal christmas tree that probably wraps all the way up my arm an around my chiselt body, i dont know for sure my underarmor is too tight to be removed
	TheAngryInge: Why do you have a Christmas tattoo?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: because i like christmas you asshole
	TheAngryInge: Well I like my kids!
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: also i pattern my life after the teachings of ultramantis black
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: at least 10 years from now christmas will still be celebrated unlike your imbred hillcat offspring, who even celebrates them now
	TheAngryInge: What's on your other arm? Is that the zodiac sign for Cancer?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no
	TheAngryInge: I think that's what that is, actually.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: its not a cancer who would want cancer on there body, it is a 69 obvs
	TheAngryInge: /tilts head Why is it on its side like that?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you expect me to have 69 standen up, do you even understand how gravity works how many people am i gonna have to explane this to
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: i surrounded it in tribal because i like haven sex with indigenous womens
	TheAngryInge: heh, you know, I was thinking of getting a Christian Aduigier backpiece, just crowns and fleur-de-lis randomly over my entire body
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: do it dude that would be wolfpac levels of sweet
	Online Host The Minnesota Twins have come from behind to win the AL Central!
	TheAngryInge: wait, hold on, WHAT? AW COME ON, I didn't... I mean, I was...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: sweet, now you have more time to chat
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: so you ever play arkham asylum

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Photo of Brandon Inge's tattoos comes courtesy of Allison Hagen. See a bigger image here.

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

9-23-2009 @ 9:58AM

Donut King said...

/kicks lifeless tattoo in the forearm
/kicks lifeless tattoo in the forearm
/kicks lifeless tattoo in the forearm
/kicks lifeless tattoo in the forearm