At FanHouse, one man's trash is another man's treasure. But only the few raise to the level of Notable Moments in FanHouse Commenting.

Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? Are you a Chicago Cub? A Chicago Cubs fan? A resident of Chicago? A fan of Lake Michigan's beautiful shores and scenic vistas and countless recreational opportunities?

Are you the center of the universe? Are you Chicago? (Is it possible that the two things are the same?) Are you ... president George W. Bush? If you answered yes to any of the above, "Larry," today's Notable FanHouse Commenter, believes you suck:

It doesn't matter who the Cubs have of their roster, they will never win the World Series. They lose because they suck and so do their fans. In fact, the city of Chicago sucks also and so does that polluted lake they have. If you wanted to go to the center of the suckiness in universe, that would be in Chicago. I'm surprised that George Bush isn't from Chicago, cause he sucks as well.

I have heard many things in my life "suck." I am 23, prime age for the doctrine of "suck," where everything either "sucks" or "is lame" or, most egregiously, "gay." Never, ever have I heard someone apply these adjectives to Lake Michigan. How dare you, Larry. Apologize, at once.

Or don't; Lake Michigan has been here for millions of years. What have you ever done?

A quick word about the lack of Dugouts lately ... as it turns out, we write about baseball so much that we love baseball, and when the playoffs start we're rarin' to go with Dugout after Dugout of wacky dialects and references to Watchmen. Then, two weeks pass we haven't done anything because we've been sitting around watching the playoffs.

I personally thought the Cubs were going to go all the way, because I have brain damage and never learned basic reasoning. Four out of ten Fanhouse writers picked the Cubs to go all the way, because when we aren't running a sports blog we're picking our nose and eating paste.

Don't get discouraged, Cubs fans! They've still got a chance! Tonight's Dugout is after the jump!

It wasn't so long ago that Kosuke Fukudome was the king of Wrigleyville, object of the ultimate in Cubs fandom. His mixture of perceived exoticism, Opening Day heroics, and early-season success propelled to fan favorite status as quickly as one can be so propelled.

No more: After a slump so long it can barely be called a "slump" and an 0-8 postseason, Fukudome is battling the unthinkable: rumors that he'll be traded, sent to the minors, or shipped back to Japan:

But if it were up to Fukudome, would he have preferred to change planes in Los Angeles and continue westward for Tokyo? Does the Cubs' first high-profile Japanese import have the toughness to dig himself out of the hole he has fallen into? Will the Cubs give him the chance? One scout interviewed Saturday suggested a course of action that could be tough to swallow. "He has to go to the minors," the scout said. "He has to get rid of all those habits, pulling out on pitches, collapsing. He'll never hit the way he's hitting now, and this is a tough place to work out your problems. Always has been."

What Fukudome really needs is some sort of intensive swing coach, or something. Or maybe he needs to stop thinking about baseball for a while. Whatever the case may be, he'll have to have a strong spring if he plans on being in Wrigleyville much longer. Jim Hendry isn't one to dawdle when it comes to dealing formerly impressive outcasts.

Brandon Backe spent most of the season getting tuned up on a regular basis. Opposing teams racked up 202 hits against him during the 2008 campaign which contributed to 14 losses, a 6.08 ERA and a lot of pent-up aggression. Unfortunately Backe chose the wrong outlet for his angst and spent a little time in the hoosegow as a result.

Backe was at a wedding in Galveston over the weekend and after the nuptials, he retired to a hotel bar with some friends. A member of the party was told by police that he couldn't go outside with his beverage and that's when, according to the Houston Chronicle, a "riot" broke out.

During the brawl, Backe was told by police to back away. He refused, and police attempted to handcuff him, the report said.

Backe struggled with officers. One officer stated in the report that he hit Backe twice in the face before handcuffing him. The officer also reported that Backe smelled of alcohol and had bloodshot eyes.

The Galveston police have more in common with the National League than previously thought. They all hit Backe and hit Backe hard.

The pitcher may have gotten off easy, actually. Unlike others in the party and Al Reyes, for that matter, he avoided the unique thrill of being tased. Backe was released on $1,500 bond and, presumably, is searching for a place where he can avoid getting hit for a little while.

From the Windup is FanHouse's daily, extended look at a particular portion of America's pastime.

A few weeks ago I was approaching a football field, en route to officiating a middle school football game. As I walked through the parking lot, I noticed an older gentleman kneeling down to pick up his keys. Only he was struggling. Every time he'd pick up his keys, he'd drop his sunglasses. Every time he'd pick up his sunglasses, he'd drop his keys, and so on. I noticed about ten people just walk by him without saying a word or even giving him a second look. There was a car waiting on him to clear the way, and the people sitting inside were visibly annoyed with the poor guy. I went over and helped him to his feet, and then leaned over and got his keys and sunglasses for him. It wasn't that I thought I was some sort of hero. I just don't understand why so many people didn't care to help.

He was thankful, but most of all you could tell he was disgusted with himself for needing my help. He did need it, he just didn't want it. I'm glad I was there, because most people couldn't have cared less.

The conventional wisdom right now is that when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia this June, they loaded up for a one year run at the playoffs. Both CC and Ben Sheets will be free agents after the World Series ends and losing those two from a rotation that finished the season up so poorly seems like an awfully daunting task. That's just a cursory look at things, though. A deeper look reveals something entirely different.

First off, all indications are that the Brewers will make a run at CC. They have some budget room with Sheets, Eric Gagne, and maybe Mike Cameron coming off of the books. Even if they can't keep pace with the Sabathia bidding (which seems likely), they should have in-house replacements in Yovani Gallardo and Manny Parra. Gallardo has all the makings of a true future ace and looked fairly strong in his return from a torn ACL late in the season. Parra had a great two-month stretch from May through July this year and has nice minor league numbers. They're not Sheets and Sabathia yet, but most teams would kill to have two young pitchers like Gallardo and Parra.

Beyond that, the key components of their lineup will all be back next year and there's no reason to think that any of them are going to suffer any kind of appreciable drop in production. In fact, guys like Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, Rickie Weeks, and Corey Hart are all young enough that they should still be improving. They'll have five first round picks next year after Sheets and Sabathia sign elsewhere, and they should have a nice chunk of change to spend on free agents until Mat Gamel and Jeremy Jeffress are ready to help the big club. Don't count the Brewers out next year, just because Sheets and Sabathia are leaving at the talking heads are telling you to.

Last year, the Phillies rolled through September and in to the playoffs on a huge wave of momentum. Everyone expected them to smash the young Rockies on their way to the NLCS and maybe even beyond. They were quickly swept by Colorado and back home before they really even knew what hit them. This year they rolled through September again to win the NL East, and again were facing a team that surged late to take the wild card. After last year's sweep, people were much more reserved about their chances.

Apparently, they learned their lesson. Today they soundly crushed the Brewers 6-2 behind two homers from Pat Burrell and advanced to their first NLCS since 1993. Just as in Games 1 and 2 in the series, the Phillies offense overwhelmed the Brewers' pitching staff. They launched four homers (Jimmy Rollins in the first,Pat Burrell and Jayson Werth in the fourth, and Burrell again in the eighth) that accounted for all six runs, with three of the homers coming off of Jeff Suppan.

Brewer fans likely have a lot of questions after this series (What if Ben Sheets was healthy? What if Dale Sveum started Yovani Gallardo in Game 4 instead of Suppan? What happened to Corey Hart?), but this Phillie team is clicking on all cylinders right now. Who would've thought they could roll to three decisive wins with Ryan Howard only racking up two hits? As with the other NLDS matchup, the team that won was simply better in the series.

When I was 18, the Pittsburgh Steelers were playing the Tennessee Titans in a playoff game. The game got to overtime and the Titans lined up for the game winning kick. Joe Nedney lined the kick up, hit it, saw it was going to miss, and took a dive in to the ground as a Steeler brushed his leg. A penalty was called, Nedney kicked it again, and after the game made some snide comment about being up for an Oscar. I put a hex on him after that incident and I kid you not, the guy blew his ACL out in the first game of the next season.

I briefly considered the power that I had been imbued with and just what kind of use I should put it to (I was leaning heavily towards "evil"), before I realized that was ridiculous. Curses are not real. They might feel real, especially after your favorite 97-win team continues their franchises 100-year streak of not winning a World Series, but I assure you, they are not real.

Manny Ramirez hit well during the postseason? CURSE! Alfonso Soriano disappeared during the playoffs? CURSE! A great regular season Lou Piniella team fell well short of expectations? CURSE! When you've existed for 100 years, sometimes bad things happen. Every franchise in baseball that's existed since 1908 has their own share of black cat and Bartman moments.

The Cubs haven't gotten a good break, but that's not entirely unusual. The Red Sox and White Sox both went almost 90 years without a World Series, the Indians are up to 60. Baseball is not known for it's historical parity, but eventually things even out. The last incarnation of the Dodgers had it right: "Wait 'til next year" is much better than "The Curse of the Billy Goat."

Throughout the entire season, I attempted to convince a friend of mine that happens to be a Cub fan that the Cubs were really as good as their gaudy record indicated. I had a small legion of stats that backed my claims up. He would always dismiss them to me with three words; "They're the Cubs." In the end, maybe I should've listened to my friend. With tonight's 3-1 loss, the 97-win Cubs were swept by the Dodgers in the NLDS, ending their playoff run almost as quickly as it started.

In the end, the Cubs didn't even put up a fight. They gave up two runs in the first inning after a questionable call on a play at third and they never really even showed a pulse after that. They only mustered eight hits and one run with their season on the line with things ending as Alfonso Soriano failed to hold up on a check swing while Jonathon Broxton and company wildly celebrated.

In the next two days or so this series is going to be diagrammed ad nauseum while people search for a reason that the best regular season in the NL disappeared so quietly. In the immediate aftermath of this series, allow me to offer this explanation: the Dodgers were the better team. Rafael Furcal is back, Manny Ramirez is in the lineup, and Joe Torre is leaving Juan Pierre on the bench. The Cubs weren't even a match for them.

Most of us have taken for granted that CC Sabathia isn't long for Milwaukee, and given how the Brewers rode him like a rented car in the stretch run, it seemed like the coaching staff wasn't planning on having him back, either. But before he packs his bags and heads for some rich team on the coast (he should have his pick -- the Yankees, Angels and Dodgers have all been mentioned in rumors), it turns out the Brewers might make a pitch for him to stay after all. From ESPN's Buster Olney:

Others in the Brewers' organization say Milwaukee owner Mark Attanasio will try to make it very difficult for Sabathia to leave -- maybe to the point of risking a colossal mistake. Attanasio has seen how Sabathia has made an enormous difference for Milwaukee in attendance -- which climbed dramatically for every game the left-hander started -- and in the standings; the Brewers were 14-3 in the 17 regular-season starts that Sabathia made for the team. And he was a model of competitive integrity; if you wanted to invest big dollars in any player, you'd feel great about signing Sabathia, who demonstrated repeatedly that he will put his team above his own personal interests. You couldn't blame Attanasio if he were to get aggressive with his offer to the lefty.

It's a risky move -- CC has thrown a lot of pitches over the last four years -- but if the Brewers are intent on getting an ace, I'd prefer to see them gamble on a free agent than pulling the trigger on the "Matt Cain for Prince Fielder and J.J. Hardy" proposal floated by Peter Gammons recently.

Sabathia has been a horse his entire career, making at least 30 starts a year every season but one (when he made 28 in 2006), so it's not out of the question that he mainstains his current level of production. On the other hand, he could just as easily follow the up-and-down career-arc of Bartolo Colon, another pudgy workhorse who got his start with the Indians, though I think staying in the more pitcher-friendly National League helps mitigate that risk.