It's not every day that a ballpark worker organizes a high-profile electronics theft. After all, most people keep their cell phones under close watch when they're at the ballpark. They know the maintenance folks, the beer delivery people, that guy carrying the Super Ropes -- all budding criminal conspirators with no respect for the law.

One Reds fan learned the hard way, until this weekend, when his perpetrator was caught ... Red-handed. Bum bum bummmm:

A man who works at Great American Ballpark has been charged with stealing a fan's cell phone while he was working. Fifty-three-year-old Paul Pawkey is charged with theft after being arrested early Wednesday morning at the ballpark. It's alleged late last month, he stole the phone and had been making calls on it in the days since. Pawkey allegedly admitted to the theft.

Of course, had I been advising Mr. Pawkey, I would have told him that only in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City does stealing a cell phone and later using it to make calls not hasten one's entry in prison. That's just not very smart.

(HT: Shysterball)

Isn't it infuriating watching a player do something stupid? There's not much that drives fans crazier than a player getting picked off while not paying attention or forgetting how many outs there are or throwing to the wrong base. This afternoon, Chris Dickerson got picked off of first while walking back to the bag with his head down. When asked about it after the game, he had a simple explanation:

"I was being lazy," he said. "I dropped my head. It was lackadaisical, lazy on my part. It's so basic, so fundamental: Know where the ball is at all times. I lost sight of that."

I guess it's easy to get upset over a player being lazy, but isn't that honesty refreshing? It's a long season, the Reds suck, Dickerson's mind wandered off for a couple of seconds, and he doesn't make excuses for it. I think, "I was being lazy," is way better than, "The lights flashed off of a fan's watch and I got distracted for a second."

After giving up a single run in the first inning last night, Roy Oswalt shut down the Reds over the next six, picking up the win. I know, I know, it was really quite shocking. In his 27th career appearance against the Reds, he improved to an amazing 22-1. That's not a typo: twenty-two and one!

Here's John Fay of the Cincinnati Enquirer (before the win was officially wrapped up) trying to wrap his head around Oswalt's pure and utter domination:

Studying the numbers from Oswalt v. Reds, it's hard to understand how he's 21-1. He was great against the Reds in his first three starts -- 23 innings, one run. Since then, he's been good. He has a 3.08 ERA. That's only slightly better than his career ERA of 3.19. But he's 102-62 against the rest of baseball. That's a .621 percentage. Again, good. But not an other-worldly .955.

How good is .955? The next best by someone with 20 decisions or more against the Reds is .696 (16-7 by Bob Welch).

Looking at Oswalt's 27 games as a whole, he's posted a 2.50 ERA against the Reds. In his 23 games against the Pirates, on the other hand, he's posted a similar 2.57 ERA but has a relatively pedestrian 11-6 record to show for it. Obviously there's some luck at play, but it makes you wonder if he has something against the fair city of Cincinnati. Did he eat a bad batch of Skyline Chili? Did Pete Rose welch on a bet? Did Carson Palmer fail him in his fantasy football playoffs? What's the deal?

When Dusty Baker became the manager of the Reds, one of the primary concerns was how he was going to handle their young pitching staff. Given his history in Chicago and even San Francisco, it was certainly a valid concern. Still, he and his staff have handled Edinson Volquez and especially Johnny Cueto very carefully this year. Look at the team response to removing Cueto after just three innings in his last start:

Cueto complained of stiffness and soreness in the back of his right arm - near where the triceps tendon connects to the elbow.

"It was purely precaution," trainer Mark Mann said. "With Johnny being young, we wanted to err on the side of caution."

I love the specificity in describing the injury. It's like the Reds are screaming, "IT'S ONLY NEAR HIS ELBOW!" Still, with Cueto's inning count creeping pretty high (his 155 innings this year is close to his 161 and 1/3 from last year), I'd expect the Reds to really limit his pitch counts over the next month. They don't have anything left to play for and having a talent like him blow his arm out in meaningless September games would be nearly criminal.

Earlier today, the higher-ups at the Cincinnati Reds baseball club decided to satiate their fanbase with what was essentially a Dear John Bench letter explaining why the team's efforts have failed despite the organization doing everything right.

What they didn't tell you on the website is that the President and Chief Executive Officer of the Reds read the letter to the masses from high atop the ballpark, and that it wasn't enough. This really happened. Stop looking at me like that.

This morning's Dugout, chronicling those events, is after the jump.

So you're a Cincinnati Reds fan, and life ain't easy. It's August in Cincy, which means sweltering humidity, the stench of a brown river, and, worst of all, veteran departures from a losing baseball team. You might be getting a little tired of those Reds. But the Reds know how to hold you over. They know how to assuage you. They know how to make you feel alive again. They know how to ... write you a letter.

Written correspondence! Woo!

We had high expectations for the 2008 season. Unfortunately the team has not played up to our expectations and we have sustained injuries to key players within our starting lineup and rotation. We opted to trade Ken Griffey Jr. and Adam Dunn at this time because we believe it provided the best outcome for the long-term success of the organization. By executing these inevitable changes now, we secured more players as part of our focus towards building a deeper, stronger inventory of young talent.

There's some more mumbo-jumbo about draft pick signings and stuff, but who cares about that? Where's the part in here that Dusty wrote?

Dear Dudes: Sorry Adam's gone, but I tried to get him to change his swing, and he wouldn't do it. Kept saying something about how he hits 40 home runs a year, and that he doesn't need to change anything. Dude clogged the bases, man. Clogged 'em all up. Anyway, my dog's barking. Be seeing you!

I think that part got edited out.

Shortly after the news of the Adam Dunn trade broke last week, word leaked out that one of the players to be named later would be pitcher/slugger Micah Owings. He's an interesting pickup for the Reds (or anyone, really) because of his varied abilities, but he won't be with the Reds for a while. If you thought trade waivers were complicated, they get even more complex when an injured player is involved.

Any player on the 40-man roster has to be passed through waivers at this time of year to be traded. Owings would probably make it through with the knowledge that he's going to be traded to the Reds eventually and the D'Backs would pull him back if anyone tried to claim him. The problem is that he's injured and injured players can't be placed on waivers. That means that the Reds may not get him until the season ends.

I have no idea what the Reds' plans for Owings are, but given the way that he pitched this year I almost think they should just put him in the outfield and see if he can do an Adam Dunn impression as a left-fielder. I'm sure the Reds won't do that, though, and they'll hope that Owings can approximate the form on the mound that he showed in April while also providing them with some pinch-hitting duties.

Six weeks ago, Bronson Arroyo was telling anyone that would listen that if the Reds were really thinking about trading him, his giant contract, and his diminishing skills that they were doomed to failure forever. Today, reporters in Cincy went to get his opinion on the Adam Dunn trade. Kind of surprisingly, he's not upset. Unsurprisingly, the reason why has to do with himself:

"A little bit because it came after the deadline. But he was going to be moved no matter what. I don't know if he told (the media) but he made it was no secret to us that he was looking for $100 to $120 million contract. I don't think this franchise is going to give out that kind of contract."

Arroyo said he is not, however, worried about the direction of the club.

"As long as they keep the pitching staff in tact, I think we'll be OK because I think Dusty (Baker) has enough pull to get them to go out and sign some hitters. If we had a real young manager, I'd be worried."

Let's get this straight, Arroyo was convinced that getting rid of his awful 2-year/$25 million extension would be a sign of doom for the Reds, but trading one of the best power hitters in the major leagues is OK because he wanted too much money. And it's OK partially because Dusty Baker has enough pull to go out and "sign some hitters," but mostly because "they keep the pitching staff intact." As in, they didn't trade him, his 23 homers allowed, his 5.44 ERA, and his 1.51 WHIP.

Also, $120 million for Adam Dunn? Does anyone actually believe that?

As reported by Matt Watson (Dugout screen name: ElementaryMattDearWatson), Adam Dunn has been traded to the Reds for, like, Oil Can Boyd or somebody.

This isn't exactly a revelation, but the Reds are abandoning their hopes for a World Series ring in the short term.

The dilemma: [edit: assistant to the] general manager Bill Bavasi is the most Gandalf-looking guy baseball has ever seen, but his screen name allows for a play on Bilbo Baggins. So Bilbo it is.

Today's Dugout is after the jump.

The D'backs pulled off a stunner of a waiver trade today by grabbing Adam Dunn from the Reds in exchange for minor league pitcher Dallas Buck and two other prospects to be named later. Dunn is eligible to become a free agent in just a few months, but with Manny Ramirez and the Dodgers just 1 1/2 games behind the D'backs, this is a huge coup for the reigning division champs.

Dunn hasn't been hitting all that much over the past few weeks (nor has he been drawing quite as many walks as usual), but he still swings one of the biggest bats in the game and will instantly force pitchers to change their approach against the middle of Arizona's lineup. And who knows, maybe going from a team nearly 20 games out of first to a division leader will be all he needs to snap himself out of his recent slump.

As for the Reds, well, this move doesn't make that much sense. Buck is a former third-round pick, who made his name helping Oregon State win an NCAA title in 2006, but after undergoing Tommy John surgery last summer, he's yet to pitch above Double-A.